Our 213 Things

Parabellum · Post by **Parabellum** » April 26th, 2004, 3:48 pm

Antropien injectors are not toys.

Antropien injections are not administered through the tear duck or jugular.

Steadfast · Post by **Steadfast** » April 26th, 2004, 4:42 pm

h8train1/75 wrote:Antropien injectors are not toys.

Antropien injections are not administered through the tear duck or jugular.

Except if that is the only weapon you have when the enemy walks by! Then by all means KILL the Muthafukr! But take out the last one walking just like Sgt York.

IntelToad · Post by **IntelToad** » April 26th, 2004, 6:09 pm

I am not allowed to take Top Secret documents home on leave no matter how way cool the pictures are.

I am not allowed to tell other Headquarters personnel that we have installed surveillance cameras in their rooms and can see them jacking off at night.

I am not allowed to insert articles from the "Weekly World News" about lesbian vampires invading El Salvador in the RCO's weekly intelligence briefing book.

Horned Toad · Post by **Horned Toad** » April 26th, 2004, 6:34 pm

Having a set of orders that mysteriously change from denied to approved in rout from the DCO office to the RMO is not allowed

Being TDY and out of contact with unit for 5 days when the trip was denied is defiantly not allowed.

Steadfast · Post by **Steadfast** » April 26th, 2004, 7:27 pm

Neva let the devil know you are dead until 1 hour after you are in heaven!

Parabellum · Post by **Parabellum** » April 28th, 2004, 6:00 am

I am no longer allowed to say "Our firearms are useless agianst them!" when the enemy is approaching. It scares the cherries.

CavTroop · Post by **CavTroop** » April 28th, 2004, 6:55 am

Some strictly tanker ones:

I am not allowed to dispose of main gun rounds accidentally taken off the range and into a secure area by dumping them into a pond.

It is wrong to shout "On the Way!" on a live range while my cherry loader is on a ladder at the end of the main gun tube boresighting it.

It is wrong to tell my cherry driver to "gun it!" as he is taking the tank into a deep full stream bed and his hatch is open.

I am not allowed, as the range control officer, to have all the tanks on line fire at the same target at the same time in order to speed things up. (But, ya know, once was enough! Hooah!)

I am not allowed to cuss out the unit track commanders for arriving late to a meeting while in the presence of the RCO. That is his perogative.

I am not allowed to draw huge chalk smilies on the side of the RS-3's M577.

It is a mistake to do the "Patton boxer victory salute" to a column of tanks as they will think it is a signal to stop.

I am not allowed to steal spare parts from the RCO's jeep.

I am not allowed to ask attached infantry to "deposit 25 cents please" when they try to use the tank interphone on the rear fender.

It is wrong to allow oil from a part I am holding in my hand to drip onto a dumbass major's boots while he is inquiring why the oil in the track is too low.

It is wrong to lock said major inside the turret and then go to chow.

I am not allowed to put both feet up on the cupola ring and lay back on the turret hatch in order to "catch some rays" while passing the CG.

Looon · Post by **Looon** » April 28th, 2004, 7:59 am

When you eat shit and tumble down a fifty foot drop, you are not allowed to make a peep even though you can already be heard 50 meters away.

Spartan · Post by **Spartan** » April 28th, 2004, 8:04 am

I am not allowed to save time by exiting my 3rd Floor barracks room into the bushes below.

Looon · Post by **Looon** » April 28th, 2004, 8:34 am

I am not alowed to say"hey fucker" when the guy in front of me lets a tree branch fly back and smack me in the mouth.

Parabellum · Post by **Parabellum** » April 28th, 2004, 9:17 am

I am not allowed to "double tap" any one. It is called a "controlled pair".

Looon · Post by **Looon** » April 28th, 2004, 9:19 am

I am not allowed to laugh when I forget to whisper to the guy behind me "low bridge"

Parabellum · Post by **Parabellum** » April 28th, 2004, 9:21 am

The "phase-plasma rifle in a 40 watt range" is not a weapon in the armsroom.

Nor is the ".45 longslide with laser sighting", "UZI 9mm", or ".12 gauge auto-loader".

Parabellum · Post by **Parabellum** » April 28th, 2004, 9:31 am

I am not allowed to break green chemlights and pour the liquid on vegitation and tell the "cherries" that the "Predator" stalking the PLT.

I am not allowed to do "The mad minute" (firing on automatic) into the woodline because the "Predator" is stalking the PLT.

I cannot fire a mini-gun from the hip.

I do not see 3 red dots on my P.L.'s chest.

My name is not Dutch, Dillion, Mac, Blain, Poncho, Hawkins or Billy.

The "Predator" is not stalking the platoon.

The "Predator" is not real.

Looon · Post by **Looon** » April 28th, 2004, 9:33 am

h8train1/75 wrote:I am not allowed to break green chemlights and pour the liquid on vegitation and tell the "cherries" that the "Predator" stalking the PLT.

I am not allowed to do "The mad minute" (firing on automatic) into the woodline because the "Predator" is stalking the PLT.

I cannot fire a mini-gun from the hip.

I do not see 3 red dots on my P.L.'s chest.

My name is not Dutch, Dillion, Mac, Blain, Poncho, Hawkins or Billy.

The "Predator" is not stalking the platoon.

The "Predator" is not real.

One of my favorite movies.