Dumb Oxes, whoops I mean Oxymorons

[JB]

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
>
> 2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
>
> 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
>
> 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the
words?
>
> 5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
>
> 6. Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
>
> 7. Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
>
> 8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
>
> 9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are
> already there?
>
> 10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
>
> 11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
>
> 12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
>
> 13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
>
> 14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
>
> 15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
>
> 16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
>
> 17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
>
> 18. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
>
> 19. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control
> when you know the batteries are dead?
>
> 20. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
>
> 21. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
>
> 22. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
>
> 23. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
>
> 24. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
>
> 25. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front
> of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

[289sotherhalf]