No parent left behind...

[Ranger Ron]

NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND


These are real notes written by parents in an ALABAMA school district. Spellings have been left intact.

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.
2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.
3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31,
32 and also 33.
4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11. Pleaseexcuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. Shehad diahre dyrea direathe the shits.
12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.
13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.
16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday.
We thought it was sunday.
17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.
19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.
23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.


NOW WE KNOW WHY PARENTS ARE SCREAMING FOR BETTER EDUCATION FOR OUR KIDS.

[Rock Island Ranger]

One I wrote for my middle daughter some 7 years ago.

Thank you for suspending my daughter Morgan the 3 days from school. The Principal (Mr. Harris) sent her home for defending herself and subsequently whipping 3 Mexican girls asses who jumped her in the hallway. The 3 day suspension resulted in us catching 42 red fish, 95 trout, a minor sunburn, and a great time. While I do not agree with this "zero tolerance" rule even when defending ones self, we sure had a great time and thanks. I have counciled Morgan that I was disappointed that she was only able to break one nose in the fight. She was taught better. I fully expect all three broken next time.

[Looon]

One I wrote for my middle daughter some 7 years ago.

Thank you for suspending my daughter Morgan the 3 days from school. The Principal (Mr. Harris) sent her home for defending herself and subsequently whipping 3 Mexican girls asses who jumped her in the hallway. The 3 day suspension resulted in us catching 42 red fish, 95 trout, a minor sunburn, and a great time. While I do not agree with this "zero tolerance" rule even when defending ones self, we sure had a great time and thanks. I have counciled Morgan that I was disappointed that she was only able to break one nose in the fight. She was taught better. I fully expect all three broken next time.

[LLUbetterhalf]

This sounds like something that I did in Middle School & High School. I was in the special school for gifted kids (yes, that means window lickers to you guys) so I would get my friend to write an excuse for me when I skipped school. My friend would always make sure to misspell a couple of words though so my teachers would think that the note was really from my mother or father and not from one of us students!

[3/75mom]

Reminds me of the (wipe off) board in the Lt.'s office with unusual wording and spelling to which the the Sgt.'s assigned new definitions. It was hysterterical. Rookies w/a B.S. has THE WORST spellling! Funny post !

[GoldCoast]

One I wrote for my middle daughter some 7 years ago.

Thank you for suspending my daughter Morgan the 3 days from school. The Principal (Mr. Harris) sent her home for defending herself and subsequently whipping 3 Mexican girls asses who jumped her in the hallway. The 3 day suspension resulted in us catching 42 red fish, 95 trout, a minor sunburn, and a great time. While I do not agree with this "zero tolerance" rule even when defending ones self, we sure had a great time and thanks. I have counciled Morgan that I was disappointed that she was only able to break one nose in the fight. She was taught better. I fully expect all three broken next time.

Until recently my son went to preschool here in the ROK (the same one my wife taught at.) The other four year olds were always karate kicking him and generally beating the shit out of him. Boys will be boys, but my wife wasn't prepared to do anything about it so I had to teach my little boy how to hit someone. After lots of practice on his old man the chance finally came up to employ his new skills. I am proud to report that he cut his knuckle on a seven year old boy's tooth, and the older boy cried and ran to his family for sympathy. I was called at work by my frantic wife who requested immediate interpreter support (they were at a park, not the school). Luckily the Korean family chose to break contact before I got there because it would not have been good for international relations when I laughed in their face! That's what happens when you let your kid be a bully - eventually someone else does something about it.

And the look on my poor kid's face was priceless - he just KNEW he was in soooo much trouble. (I had to keep him out of the park for a few days to give everyone the chance to cool down.)