DOD Warning-Please Read

IntelToad · Post by **IntelToad** » March 21st, 2004, 1:57 pm

>Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs
>to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman.
>
>Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer" to target
>unsuspecting men. The drug is generally found in liquid form and is
>now available almost anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, from taps, and
>in large "kegs." Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and
>bars to persuade their male victims to go home and have sex with them.
>
>Typically, a woman needs only to persuade a guy to consume a few units of
>Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex. Men are
>rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will
>often succumb to desires to perform sexual acts on horrific looking women
>to whom they would never normally be attracted.
>
>After drinking Beer men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly
>what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling
>that something "bad" occurred.
>
>At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's
>savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship." It has been
>reported that in extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to
>entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and
>punishment referred to as "marriage."
>
>Apparently, men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is
>administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.
>
>Please forward this warning to every male you know. If you fall victim
>to this insidious Beer and the predatory women administering it, there
>are male support groups with venues in every town where you can discuss the
>details of your shocking encounter in an open and frank manner with
>similarly affected, like-minded guys. For the support group nearest
>you just look up "Golf Courses" in the yellow pages...

Dud · Post by **Dud** » March 21st, 2004, 3:23 pm

Damn,
I wish this information had been posted before this past friday. I got ambushed. Although I don't recollect a good bit of the evening, there are rumors floating around involving myself and a very large girl, similiar to a sasquatch sighting. If I'd only known the dangers of Beer I could have drank even more to ensure that I forgot the night in it's entirety.

Dud

Bell · Post by **Bell** » March 21st, 2004, 3:26 pm

Take it from an expert. Once ya find you're going over the edge and probably can't be saved, it's wise to take full advantage of the beer rations. You'll be so sick for the next couple of days your memory will start getting fuzzy and you'll only remember the good parts.

RLTW
Bell

McD · Post by **McD** » March 21st, 2004, 4:29 pm

This is how I lost my left arm. Woke up in the morning and Bertha was laying on it. Decided to cut my arm off rather than chance waking her up.

Steadfast · Post by **Steadfast** » March 21st, 2004, 6:23 pm

Dud wrote:Damn,
I wish this information had been posted before this past friday. I got ambushed. Although I don't recollect a good bit of the evening, there are rumors floating around involving myself and a very large girl, similiar to a sasquatch sighting. If I'd only known the dangers of Beer I could have drank even more to ensure that I forgot the night in it's entirety.

Dud

I heard through the motel grapevine that you ate this large obese lady Dud and she closed her legs on yer head and shrunk it to 1/3 of normal size. Accidents of that nature take up to 4 months to correct themselves Dud. Good luck sukr. When you eat broads of this size it ain't considered as breaking your cherry rookie.

P.S. Intel Toad, nice story. Too late to help me though.

Slowpoke · Post by **Slowpoke** » March 21st, 2004, 8:40 pm

Actually, I'm a proponent of "Go ugly early" and let her buy the beer. Saves time and money.

Edit: Can someone wake up the left flank security? Somebody put a boot in his ass!

BadMuther · Post by **BadMuther** » March 21st, 2004, 9:10 pm

Slowpoke wrote:Actually, I'm a proponent of "Go ugly early" and let her buy the beer. Saves time and money.

Edit: Can someone wake up the left flank security? Somebody put a boot in his ass!

Ahh, the wisdom that comes with age.......a lot to be said for go ugly go early!

Slowpoke · Post by **Slowpoke** » March 21st, 2004, 9:32 pm

BadMuther wrote:
Slowpoke wrote:Actually, I'm a proponent of "Go ugly early" and let her buy the beer. Saves time and money.

Edit: Can someone wake up the left flank security? Somebody put a boot in his ass!

Ahh, the wisdom that comes with age.......a lot to be said for go ugly go early!

See? If you'd done that in Reno, you woudda got laid and not ended up stealing some poor little girls toys!

Spartan · Post by **Spartan** » March 21st, 2004, 10:51 pm

Slowpoke wrote:See? If you'd done that in Reno, you woudda got laid and not ended up stealing some poor little girls toys!

He did go ugly early, well, he tried, but was rejected in the end.

Currahee 3-4 · Post by **Currahee 3-4** » March 22nd, 2004, 4:00 am

Ahh, the wisdom that comes with age.......a lot to be said for go ugly go early!

I tried that awhile back and my "heat seeking love missle" wouldnt report to formation.He was AWOL.No charges were pressed as he showed more sense than the person in charge.

His exact words were"you want to put me where?"

He said he could do fat or he could do ugly,but both was too much to ask.In hindsight he was correct and was promoted.

Steadfast · Post by **Steadfast** » March 22nd, 2004, 9:01 am

Currahee 3-4 wrote:Ahh, the wisdom that comes with age.......a lot to be said for go ugly go early!

I tried that awhile back and my "heat seeking love missle" wouldnt report to formation.He was AWOL.No charges were pressed as he showed more sense than the person in charge.

His exact words were"you want to put me where?"

He said he could do fat or he could do ugly,but both was too much to ask.In hindsight he was correct and was promoted.

"He" may have been promoted but as we all know the asshole is still the boss.

rangercamaro · Post by **rangercamaro** » March 23rd, 2004, 4:03 am

Currahee 3-4 wrote:Ahh, the wisdom that comes with age.......a lot to be said for go ugly go early!

I tried that awhile back and my "heat seeking love missle" wouldnt report to formation.He was AWOL.No charges were pressed as he showed more sense than the person in charge.

His exact words were"you want to put me where?"

He said he could do fat or he could do ugly,but both was too much to ask.In hindsight he was correct and was promoted.

OK i call bullshit. Everyone knows you smoked that lil fucker

Kiknskreem · Post by **Kiknskreem** » March 23rd, 2004, 10:55 am

certiorari wrote:I too had a similar encounter. I woke up one morning layin next to what at first glance, looked like nothing short of "La Chubricabra" (sp?). I've never run so fast in all my life.

Hahaha very good certiorari.... the chupacabra is an ugly little devil (supposedly) that feeds on goats blood. Hey.. aren't you underage?