So I look up and down and order. 1 Sushi Lunch $6.95. Looks innocent enough so I select spicy tuna roll. The plate comes with a salad and a Miso soup. I get a pot of Chinese tea with the meal. If any of ya's ever ate this you know what I am talking about. For those that don't I shall describe a wee bit of it - (use your imagination to fill in the possible holes). I get this small bowl (all of 2 ounces of soup it can hold) contain a few leaves of lettuce with 4 paper thin small slices of cucumber & some salad dressing already applied. Three picks and I ate it. The soup comes next. Same size bowl with a Chinese soup spoon. Tastes like a water down chicken soup. Here comes the Sushi meal. I look down at it and see 2 groups of six small quarter round size but 1 inch high of rice around some pink reddish looking fish. Certainly not like tuna in the can. I lifted the chop sticks and told the waitress to bring me a fork since I haven't used chopsticks in like 10 years. The waitress bring me a new set of chopsticks that have a small rubberband on the end and a rolled up piece of paper between the top of the sticks holding the top end together. Looked like a compass you would draw a circle with. The waitress explained they were baby chopsticks. Fine I sez. As I try them out they are easy to use and don't fall out of my hand. There is a small pile of pink colored fish sliced paper thin. After I lifted each of them I figured I devoured 4 pieces that would maybe equal one slice of cooked roast beef. And there was a small wad of green stuff. I figured it was maybe added color to the plate. Being this was my 1st time eating this shit I didn't want anyone to know it was my first time. Girls, you know men. Well I was doing a crosswordpuzzle in my book I carry around to keep from being bored. I do my puzzle to make my small meager meal last more than 5 minutes. I succeed and finish 3 puzzles and make the meal last near 40 minutes. I am thinking to myself I ate everything but that little wad of pastachio green looking clay. This meal did not seem spicy to me, then I pick up this odd little ball with my baby chopsticks and toss it triumphfully in my open mouth. Happy I cleaned my plate, not a piece of rice remained. The ball is disolving in my mouth when my eyes begin watering - This little ball was the spice - I am going to choke and cough, I hold my face down as I feel my eyes trying to jump outta my face. I look toward the restroom and someone has just gone in. This ball I am thinking is going to make me have a fucken heart attack right here. Shit! I jes might fucken die - how embarrassing.
I'm on fire and I'm gonna die! I think to myself, stop panicing Stead. Get a hold of yourself. I was complelled to swallow the cup of hot tea to cool down but nixed that idea. I got my napkin and wiped my tongue of the wad of green clay that had desolved over the entire inside of my mouth. I could feel the heat by now was dissapating slightly. Now where do I hide my napkin. Fuck it, in the open. I have eaten hot before and only perspired knowing full well it was hot but this came up on me in total surprise. I went back there again today and order the same thing but with spicy salmon roll instead of tuna. I asked the waitress for an additional dollop of that green stuff. Instead of a wad I smeared each piece of my food with this little spice. this time I won or this time I wasn't so stupid!.Stead
