Why.....

[Steadfast]

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? . . like the batteries in a smoke detector they need to be exchanged for fresh [sic, batteries] ones at least semi-annually.

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? . . everybody is in for their cut

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? . . wet paint is closer to check, heck I lose count after 875,439 often (usually after I sneeze )

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? . . It does stick to the inside of the bottle but I bet you never really ever finished a bottle of glue before the glue top stuck

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? . . So the Technican administering the lethal injection doesn't get stuck accidently before administering it

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? . . he shaves before the camera rolls

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? . . that only happened in the T. V. series in the 50's & we know that was just a reflex reaction by Superman. All us kiddies from back then know that Superman kilt himself with a Kryptonite bullet

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? . . Kamikaze pilots had long hair, the flight cap kept their eyes clear so they didn't crash in the wrong spot.

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? . . rotten Johnny who loved making fun of everybody

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? . . too bad you haven't found the missing link or Lucy

Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? . . Bubbles are stretched super thin and their color exist, just lighter in appearance to the naked eye

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? . . yes, the day the Sanitation Engineers picks them up at your curb peeeeeeuuuuuuueeeeewwwwwweeeeeeeee

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? . . Oh, your husband looks too eh?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? . . people without electricity do not have vacuums

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try? . . try using paper

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? . . the fixtures are not airtight - when was the last time you found a bug inside a lightbulb?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? . . I've never seen it happen to the Vietnamese populace. If you just focus on what you are doing, it won't happen. BTW, quit your job in the munitions factory, your so called friends are scared of you and your 'dropseyism' shannegins

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? . . I see you don't live in San Fran or San Diego

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? . . 'cause mother-in-law never shuts the fuck up

If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it? . . Naaaw, practice make perfect - I ain't askin anyone directions either

And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky diving! . . unless your mother-in-law is in the plane too!

And Finally...
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. .. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you . . thank gawd, it's you, I knew it weren't me

[Kwith]

[Warriorwife]

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? . . 'cause mother-in-law never shuts the fuck up

[Daisey]

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Guilty!!

[SmileyTFJ]

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Yup...the day I want to buy one!

[289sotherhalf]