Wal-Mart Application

imarangersdad · Post by **imarangersdad** » July 24th, 2005, 6:25 pm

WAL-MART APPLICATION

This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen
submitted to Walmart in Arkansas.

They hired him because he was so funny.........you gotta love it!!!

NAME: George Martin

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one
that will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously,
whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be
applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style
severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more
intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP to 50 lbs.?: of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do
you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a
winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a
fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest
thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE....7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

***Old People Rock!

RTO · Post by **RTO** » July 24th, 2005, 6:34 pm

imarangersdad wrote: SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one that will cooperate).......... who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

AbnRgr289 · Post by **AbnRgr289** » July 24th, 2005, 6:36 pm

There's nothing like being truthful!

RTO · Post by **RTO** » July 24th, 2005, 7:44 pm

AbnRgr289 wrote:There's nothing like being truthful!

That, and honesty can be very sexy!

SkyShark · Post by **SkyShark** » July 24th, 2005, 8:56 pm

Very nice.

The above Ranger is a post whore

RTO · Post by **RTO** » July 24th, 2005, 11:45 pm

SkyShark wrote:Very nice.

The above Ranger is a post whore

(looking up) Where? I don't see any post whore!

RTO · Post by **RTO** » July 24th, 2005, 11:46 pm

SkyShark wrote:Very nice.

The above Ranger is a post whore

You mean 289?

RTO · Post by **RTO** » July 24th, 2005, 11:46 pm

Are you sure?

RTO · Post by **RTO** » July 24th, 2005, 11:47 pm

That's not a very nice thing to say about 289!

RTO · Post by **RTO** » July 24th, 2005, 11:48 pm

He should kick yer ass!

AbnRgr289 · Post by **AbnRgr289** » July 24th, 2005, 11:50 pm

RTO wrote:
AbnRgr289 wrote:There's nothing like being truthful!
That, and honesty can be very sexy!

289sotherhalf · Post by **289sotherhalf** » July 25th, 2005, 2:29 am

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one
that will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously,
whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be
applying here in the first place.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a
fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest
thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

Darksaga · Post by **Darksaga** » July 25th, 2005, 10:53 am

That is awesome. My whole office is enjoying it!

ArmyRanger.com

Wal-Mart Application

Wal-Mart Application

Re: Wal-Mart Application