If your parachute disagrees with you..

Poetryisdeath · Post by **Poetryisdeath** » November 19th, 2004, 5:21 am

If your parachute decides to go FUBAR, or you messed up packing it, what do you while falling? I heard the story about Ranger Laws falling and moving into another jumper's paracute, but I have a doubt that that's SOP.

What exactly is the plan? Pucker and pray, or do they teach you any techniques at BAS?

Respectfully, PiD.

Vee · Post by **Vee** » November 19th, 2004, 5:33 am

Let's worry about making it through Reception BN first, EH?

Steadfast · Post by **Steadfast** » November 19th, 2004, 5:38 am

Vee wrote:Let's worry about making it through Reception BN first, EH?

Ranger Vee is correct. Besides, you don't pack your own chute. Someone else qualified to do it does. And that's individual's name is inside your chute. Jumping with a parachute is safer than riding a bus in certain cities.

Kilted Heathen · Post by **Kilted Heathen** » November 19th, 2004, 5:39 am

You must be losin' sleep.You don't pack your own 'chute.You will be taught all necessary actions in the event of malfunction.Don't worry you'll have plenty of time.You've got the rest of your life!

RGR_Dan · Post by **RGR_Dan** » November 19th, 2004, 5:58 am

Yeah and I don't want to hear anymore about "chute packing"

Ripcord · Post by **Ripcord** » November 19th, 2004, 6:46 am

The Black Hats Told us don't worry if your main malfunctions use your reserve if it don't work either don't worry, when you hit the ground jump back up and shout AIRBORNE ,and we will give you 2 more and let you try again

Spartan · Post by **Spartan** » November 19th, 2004, 6:54 am

Poetryisdeath wrote:If your parachute decides to go FUBAR, or you messed up packing it, what do you while falling?

I usually bring along a pocket book to read so that at least I will die an educated man. I try to make it a short book so that I will have time to finish it.

Something along the lines of:

- Al Gore: The Wild Years
- Amelia Earhart's Guide to the Pacific Ocean
- America's Most Popular Lawyers
- Career Opportunities for History Majors
- Detroit - A Travel Guide
- Different Ways to Spell "Bob"
- Dr. Kevorkian's Collection of Motivational Speeches
- Ethiopian Tips on World Dominance
- French Hospitality
- George Foreman's Big Book of Baby Names
- How to Sustain a Musical Career by Art Garfunkel
- One Hundred and One Spotted Owl Recipes by the EPA
- Staple Your Way to Success
- The Amish Phone Book
- Valorous combat acts of Senator John Kerry.
- Favorite drinking recipes of the Mormon Church.
- Cooking with Pork for Muslims.
etc....

Creeping Death · Post by **Creeping Death** » November 19th, 2004, 7:06 am

That's what you go to Airborne School for, Einstein. It doesn't take three weeks to make five jumps. What do you think they do in the other 2.5 weeks? Circle jerks?

You will be adequately prepared for the techincal aspects of airborne ops before you are allowed to make your first jump. There is more involved than simply allowing gravity to do the work. They are not gonna throw a dumbass out of a bird that has not been taught what to do and when to do it.

Right now, you need to worry about the NCOs at the Reception Batt that are gonna hurt your feelings more than how to execute immediate action for a partial or complete malfunction. And no, steering towards your buddy who still has lift is not the proper method to try to survive a partial malfuntion. You won't have very much, if any lift at all, and you sure as Hell ain't got time to steer shit. All you know is that it is windy as fuck and you are about to die. Hesitate for a second, and it's lawn darts. You wanna know what is the proper technique? Make it through BAC and find out.

Kilted Heathen · Post by **Kilted Heathen** » November 19th, 2004, 11:44 am

Just do push-ups.

knightcat · Post by **knightcat** » November 20th, 2004, 6:27 am

I knew I forgot something about AIRBORNE school..... How do you pack your chute again????? If it doesn't open, just undo your leg straps and try and get a confirmed kill by landing on the enemy and don't forget to perform a perfect RLF!

ImportsRsloths · Post by **ImportsRsloths** » November 26th, 2004, 4:43 am

when i went to airborne school they gave me a reserve in case the main didn't work, but they said it was in the experimental phase and when hippy ass Poetryisdeath comes there they arent going to issue reserves... TOO BAD

BadMuther · Post by **BadMuther** » November 26th, 2004, 4:58 am

I usually do what Ranger Spartan does. Or I take a nap. One time I was pretty hungover, and I didn't even wake up when I bounced. Got my ass smoked for that one, and STILL had to ruck back to the barracks.

Bugsy · Post by **Bugsy** » November 26th, 2004, 6:53 am

Vee wrote:Let's worry about making it through Reception BN first, EH?

There are all types of "malfunctions" that can occur young soldier, you will get plenty of instruction during Airborne School to determine "what to do if you experience a total malfuntion".

If you're scared then I guess it would be a real concern, most of us couldn't wait to jump out of a perfectly good airplane (especially since women do it on a regular basis).

Keep that in mind when you start to think about "what if", and if you ever do experience a total malfunction maybe you'll get lucky and land on one of those female cutie-pies you've had your eye on, takes more guts to get laid at 3000 ft than it ever did at 1 mile up

.

Poetryisdeath · Post by **Poetryisdeath** » November 29th, 2004, 4:05 am

Thank you, Rangers and Veterans, I apologize for wasting your time.

ArmyRanger.com

If your parachute disagrees with you..

If your parachute disagrees with you..

chute

damn.....