America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
--- Jay Leno
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal ?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
--- Conan O'Brien
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon ?
A: A fund raiser.
--- Jay Leno
Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary ?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society.
The other is for housing prisoners.
--- David Letterman
Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved ?
A: America !
--- Jimmy Fallon
Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo ?
A: Bo has papers.
--- Jimmy Kimmel
Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for clunkers" program ?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.
--- David Letterman
