Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary. ..
Day 983 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................
Pet Diary
Moderator: Site Admin
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- Ranger
- Posts: 10935
- Joined: February 8th, 2004, 10:00 pm
Wow. Proof positive that cats are merely furry fuck terrorists and need to be put on the "Meats of the America's" list.
RS Class # 7-76
I'm not the way I am because I was a Ranger - I was a Ranger because of the way I am.
¿Querría usted el primer redondo en la rodilla o la cara?
The road goes on forever and the party never ends.
I'm not the way I am because I was a Ranger - I was a Ranger because of the way I am.
¿Querría usted el primer redondo en la rodilla o la cara?
The road goes on forever and the party never ends.
Hmm. A Liger just killed someone here on Wednesday at a wildlife sanctuary owned by a high school classmate of mine. Yeah, I know, not funny but I could make all kinds of jokes about a pussy eating a man.
http://www.newson6.com/global/story.asp?s=9271468
http://www.newson6.com/global/story.asp?s=9271468
To be loved is to be fortunate, but to be hated is to achieve distinction.
<2> Ranger Mom
RIP 10-08 & RS 10-09
<2> Ranger Mom
RIP 10-08 & RS 10-09
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- Tadpole
- Posts: 2143
- Joined: July 16th, 2004, 9:02 am
Yes, it's pretty much my favorite animal.Tater Nuts wrote:They are bred for their magic skills aren't they ?Boudicca wrote:Hmm. A Liger just killed someone here on Wednesday at a wildlife sanctuary owned by a high school classmate of mine. Yeah, I know, not funny but I could make all kinds of jokes about a pussy eating a man.
http://www.newson6.com/global/story.asp?s=9271468
St Barbara's Bastards
82C1P
"Parole officer says I gotta upgrade, or he won't give me back my stabbin' knife!"~Roberto
82C1P
"Parole officer says I gotta upgrade, or he won't give me back my stabbin' knife!"~Roberto