Re: Disrespect

Julieanne · Post by **Julieanne** » May 7th, 2007, 10:45 am

[quote="Capellanus"]Itâ€™s been a few days since I posted on this thread. Great comments by many of you.
We have two boys (3y/o and 1 y/o) so this is the context in which I write this post.
I was wondering what anyoneâ€™s thoughts were on the â€œLove and Logicâ€

MrsDocMac · Post by **MrsDocMac** » May 7th, 2007, 11:06 am

I'm not so sure on the Love and Logic stuff. It seems like it's just a way for them to make money..... I'm not one to put a price tag on children's happiness or well being but paying this much for stuff like this just seems silly, IMO. Most of it is probably things you are already doing or will come natural as a parent. Ranger Capellanus, ya'll seem to be doing awesome as is....

I'm just starting out. What products should I buy?

The following products provide a foundation for learning about the general concepts and techniques of Love and Logic:

Avoiding Power Struggles With Kids (CD $13.95)
"Didn't I Tell You To Take Out The Trash?!" (CD $13.95)
Four Steps to Responsibility (CD $13.95)
Helicopters, Drill Sergeants and Consultants (available in CD $13.95 or book $5.95)
Love and Logic Solutions (DVD $39.95)
Love Me Enough to Set Some Limits (CD $13.95)
Parenting With Love and Logic (hardcover book-updated version $24.99)
You can find a number of the products listed above packaged together to save you money:

Life Saver Kit contains the following 6 CD's:

Helicopters, Drill Sergeants and Consultants; Four Steps to Responsibility; "Didn't I Tell You To Take Out The Trash?"; Avoiding Power Struggles With Kids; Raising the Odds for Responsible Behavior; Love Me Enough to Set Some Limits. (6 CDs $63.95)

Love and Logic Stress-Free Parenting Package contains:

Love and Logic Magic: When Kids Leave You Speechless (paperback)
Oh Great! What Do I Do Now? (CD)
Life Saver Kit-includes the following 6 CD's; Helicopters, Drill Sergeants and Consultants; Four Steps to Responsibility; "Didn't I Tell You To Take Out The Trash?"; Avoiding Power Struggles With Kids; Raising the Odds for Responsible Behavior; Love Me Enough to Set Some Limits. (Save 23% over retail)

We recommend the following products for parents with toddlers:

Early Childhood Package (Save 18% over retail)
Painless Parenting for the Preschool Years (DVD $29.95)
Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to 6 Years (paperback $24.95)
Toddlers and Pre-Schoolers; Love and Logic Parenting for Early Childhood (2 CDs $21.95)
Love and Logic Magic When Kids Drain Your Energy (CD $13.95)

We suggest the following products for parents with teens:

Teen Package (Save 21% over retail)
Hormones and Wheels (2 CDs $24.95)
Parenting Teens With Love and Logic (hardcover book-updated version $24.99)
Love and Logic Solutions (DVD $23.95)

Total: $353.54 if you start form an infant, and $73.89 if you start for your teens. I've never bought stuff like this before so I don't know how those prices compare to others but like I said before, it just seems silly to me to buy these books and things to tell you how to raise your kids.... IMO....

Julieanne · Post by **Julieanne** » May 7th, 2007, 11:17 am

Holy smokes! That's alot of money. There are so many resources on the internet, that it's probably not necessary to buy into a specific program. But, I guess if somebody is having huge issues with a child, or needs other family members to follow the program in order to establish more consistency, it might be good to have some resources on hand.

People will always try to capitalize on somebody elses insecurity.

Invictus · Post by **Invictus** » May 7th, 2007, 11:45 am

[quote="Capellanus"]Itâ€™s been a few days since I posted on this thread. Great comments by many of you.
We have two boys (3y/o and 1 y/o) so this is the context in which I write this post.
I was wondering what anyoneâ€™s thoughts were on the â€œLove and Logicâ€

Julieanne · Post by **Julieanne** » May 7th, 2007, 12:29 pm

As I move towards my mid-30's, I have come to realize that the greatest contribution I can make in this life is that of being a good father and husband. Not knocking anyone who's been divorced, God knows we've come close a few times, but I think being a good husband is another example you can set for your kids that will stay with them forever.

Amen.

Just being a good example in all we do, is going to lay the strongest imprint in their minds.

Not sure if anyone else has seen this Australian Ad Campaign, but I thought I'd share it here. It seems fitting.

Children See

MrsDocMac · Post by **MrsDocMac** » May 7th, 2007, 1:22 pm

That right there says lot Julie, thanks....

Capellanus · Post by **Capellanus** » May 7th, 2007, 1:39 pm

Invictus wrote:As I move towards my mid-30's, I have come to realize that the greatest contribution I can make in this life is that of being a good father and husband. Not knocking anyone who's been divorced, God knows we've come close a few times, but I think being a good husband is another example you can set for your kids that will stay with them forever.

I second the AMEN. Actually, a former chaplain once told me that the greatest example I can give my boys is to teach/show them how to love a women by loving their mom. This reminds me of that country song that says something like, â€œIâ€™am watching you, I wanta be like you,â€¦Iâ€™m your buckaroo.â€

Jason113 · Post by **Jason113** » May 7th, 2007, 6:42 pm

What I find disturbing these days is the fact that , if a parent lays a hand on their kid, they can go to jail for disciplining their child!!

I'm not saying beat the foul mouthed bastards into a coma, but a couple of well placed swats with a belt will do wonders for attitude adjustment.

I remember when I was coming up some time back, I got into a argument with my grandfather about the way a woman is supposed to be treated and at that age, I thought I had all the answers.

He asked me'Is that the way it's going to be?' and after I told him my reply, he shrugged, finished his Guinness and then knocked me flat on my ass.

Afterwards, he helped me up, said what he had to say and left it at that.

Needless to say, I was never disrespectful to him, my parents or a woman again.

RTO · Post by **RTO** » May 7th, 2007, 6:50 pm

Jason113 wrote:
He asked me 'Is that the way it's going to be?' and after I told him my reply, he shrugged, finished his Guinness and then knocked me flat on my ass.

Finished his Guinness first? Now that's funny!

Oto-Man · Post by **Oto-Man** » May 7th, 2007, 7:01 pm

RTO wrote:
Jason113 wrote:
He asked me 'Is that the way it's going to be?' and after I told him my reply, he shrugged, finished his Guinness and then knocked me flat on my ass.

Finished his Guinness first? Now that's funny!

Proper grandparenting...shows values, morals, and the importance of taking 10 seconds to breath and contemplate prior to smacking the shit out of the little bastard...and low and behold....according do Jason113....IT WORKED!!!

Reality is: you should never have to hit a child....if it has gone that far, you have already failed... and then it is clean up mode from there on out...
that doesn't mean by any stretch that they don't deserve a smack on the ass, cause sometimes they do.....but if it happens....it's actually your fault and you need to have your hubby or wife smack you on the ass onced or twiced for beign the friggin failure to your kids....

SmileyTFJ · Post by **SmileyTFJ** » May 7th, 2007, 7:08 pm

My biggest problem is getting my child's teachers (usually after school teachers) and other adults NOT to tolerate her behavior. She definitely doesn't have any self esteem issues, and is very smart. Her behavior stems from being able to bat her baby blues, toss her curls, and smile pretty, all the while keeping up a constant chatter about why the situation makes sense. I'm constantly telling people "don't let her get away with it!" She distracts them while she wears them down running her mouth.

Physical discipline does nothing. Her cheer coach is constantly coming up with ways to get ahead of her. He had her doing push ups for awhile, now she does more than most of the Seniors and can get to the roof on the rope climb in the Gym. The thing that works the best for her is usually to start taking things away. A weekly treat, trip to a favorite restaurant, taking away toys that she tries to play with at night (there are a few living at the top of the refrigerator right now). "I don't care what you say, no, you are not a Koala, you don't sleep during the day, go to bed."

A recurring theme throughout this thread is setting standards and expectations, and enforcing them. I love it when my child pouts, "you're not my friend." "No, I'm your Mom, I love you very much, and I don't like the way you are behaving. These are the consequences of your actions..." So she finds a new way to push a different rule, she's a kid, it's her job.

IntelToad · Post by **IntelToad** » May 7th, 2007, 7:08 pm

My 79 year old, father of five, ex- Marine, dad's advice that I've always followed-

"Kids are terrorists. You don't negotiate with terrorists."

:D

bulldogg · Post by **bulldogg** » May 7th, 2007, 8:14 pm

Reading Invictus's post about his Mom spanking when angry jogged some memories of my own. I'll offer this, sometimes spanking and physical punishment can have an opposite effect. If the child perceives the punishment is unfair, ie the expectations changed without warning, the parent is a hypocrit, the child will harden. I still wear it with a bit of pride that my mom broke her hand on my ass more than once and that my dad couldn't inflict enough pain to make me show it... but my Grandpa only had to sound disappointed in me and I was absofuckinglutely crushed.

This goes to consistency and integrity. If you do things you tell your kids not to do they will lose respect and once they no longer respect you all the beatings in the world won't change that, you'll only make a hard sonofabitch who hates the very ground you walk on. BUT if you earn their respect by being an example... well, its like the Ranger said, parenting and leadership, they're more closely aligned than many think. Its more than putting on rank or being put in charge you earn it by your ACTIONS and parenting is no different, just because you pop one out doesn't make you a parent and it sure as hell doesn't earn you any respect, you have to BE a parent for that to kick in.