Tater Nuts wrote:While we still dont have a dish or cable or any of that crap, my family did purchase a tv/dvd player combo to watch moviies on. What a waste. Here are a couple of reviews and suggestions for remakes.
Lady in the Water.
Review. Emo chick flick with vegetarian undertones. Two thumbs down.
Ranger remake. The disgruntled old tired ass Ranger groundskeeper is exposed to the storyline in the first few minutes of the movie. Day two finds the Ranger humming to himself next to the pool standing in a pile of bloody leaves holding a weedeater and a hedgetrimmer. Behind him in the poolhouse we see a watery sea nymph spread out like a turkeys wishbone with two big smiles. Off to the side we see three apes wearing ghillie suits doing "monkey fuckers" while watching the Ranger with fearfull expressions. Two thumbs up.
Descent
Review. Two carloads of chicks go unarmed into a cave and get eat by blind inbred hillbillies. Two thumbs down.
Ranger remake. Following a weekend link-up in the Appalachian mountains near the Ocoee we find several Rangers exiting a cave and talking among themselves.
Ranger 1: Dude that was so cool, did you see that gimps head explode when he ran into the stalagtite when I shot him in the ass.
Ranger 2: Should we notify the TWRA that we may have destroyed a indigenous species of subterranian humanoids.
Ranger 1: No, they will just get pissed because FleshThorn pissed on a rock.
Ranger 2: OK cool, we gonna do this again next year.
All Rangers: Absolutely.
Two thumbs up.
:D :D
Tater, here's the long awaited follow-up to Bubba Ho-Tep which is coming out in 2007:
"This prequel to Bubba Ho-Tep finds Elvis shooting a film in Louisiana when he runs afoul of a coven of she-vampires."
Ranger remake. The disgruntled old tired ass Ranger groundskeeper is exposed to the storyline in the first few minutes of the movie. Day two finds the Ranger humming to himself next to the pool standing in a pile of bloody leaves holding a weedeater and a hedgetrimmer. Behind him in the poolhouse we see a watery sea nymph spread out like a turkeys wishbone with two big smiles. Off to the side we see three apes wearing ghillie suits doing "monkey fuckers" while watching the Ranger with fearfull expressions. Two thumbs up.
Descent
Ranger remake. Following a weekend link-up in the Appalachian mountains near the Ocoee we find several Rangers exiting a cave and talking among themselves.
Ranger 1: Dude that was so cool, did you see that gimps head explode when he ran into the stalagtite when I shot him in the ass.
Ranger 2: Should we notify the TWRA that we may have destroyed a indigenous species of subterranian humanoids.
Ranger 1: No, they will just get pissed because FleshThorn pissed on a rock.
Ranger 2: OK cool, we gonna do this again next year.
All Rangers: Absolutely.
Two thumbs up.
Old Grunt wrote:New Years Day I watched "Destination Moon" (1950) for the first time in 20 years or so (on TMC). What was amazing was not how dated it was, but how close they came to the real thing even though in 1950 no one on Earth had a space program.
Not as flashy as First Contact or as exciting as Aliens, but a good watch even 56 years down the road.
I watched pretty much all of the old sci-fi movies that day as well, alternating between the bowl games and watching those movies with my oldest son (10) made for a pretty good day.
Cat wrote:Watched the Black Dahlia the other night. The Book was better of course.
Rented Clerks II, but haven't watched it yet
PPV'd this one the other night. Pretty good, not as good as the first though.
That's 'cause Dante's a fat fuck working at a fast-food joint and banging two hot chicks. But Pillow-Pants definitely makes up for it.
I watched The Good Shepard. Now, for those of you who are extremely concened with historical accuracy, I don't know shit about the CIA except that Al Pacino got killed trying to scam. I thought the movie was pretty good, it wasn't very exiting and the son was a fag; but banging a def chick makes up for it.
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82C1P
"Parole officer says I gotta upgrade, or he won't give me back my stabbin' knife!"~Roberto
Cat wrote:Watched the Black Dahlia the other night. The Book was better of course.
Rented Clerks II, but haven't watched it yet
Black Dahlia was a big let down, it could have been really good.
Clerks II was pretty good, just remember these words in it
"Pickle Fucker"
hahaha best part
SGT USArmy Retired/Disabled
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also
RM2 USN 1983-1988
NAVCOMMSTA SD 84-86
32nd ST NAVSTA 86-87
USS Merrill DD 976 86-87
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I'm glad I waited to see it on video and not in the theaters . The movie really was about two Cops, the Black Dahlia was only a small part of the moive :?
U.S. Army Signal Corps, 31M7A/31S
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--
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Obviously conceived with a liberal anti government / anti illegal immigration enforcement mindset.
Great action and dark overtones throughout the movie. Hooked me pretty quick and dragged me downstream the rest of the way.
Gotta admit it reminded me of my concerns about our current immigration / illegal situation. The movie tried to make it look like enforcement is wrong. Made me feel like we are not doing enough. Needed a drink…………..
And when exactly is it that you DON'T feel the need for a drink! :D
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1/1/C/2-75(INF)(RGR)(ABN)
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HHC/1-82(ABN)
Oopps almost forgot Class 4-84
coldsteal2 wrote:Black Dahlia was a big let down.......
Agreed, my least favorite movie I've seen all year. It would otherwise be the very worst I've seen all year were in not for Scarlett Johensen.
I watched The Good Shepard. Now, for those of you who are extremely concened with historical accuracy, I don't know shit about the CIA except that Al Pacino got killed trying to scam. I thought the movie was pretty good, it wasn't very exiting and the son was a fag; but banging a def chick makes up for it.
I made one of my cadets do a presentation on the history of the CIA last semester, so he and I went to go see The Good Shepherd. It was just really, really slow, and not fun to watch IMO.
Haven't seen the Black Dhalia... probably won't. But, I can assure you... it CAN'T BE as bad as "The Fountain". OH MY FUCKING GEEZUS... that's two fucking hours of my life that I will never get back. WTF was that all about? I thought with Hugh Jackman in it, it would be at least decent. But FUCK no. Hell, we didn't even get to see titties...
I would rather fucking go to a Barbara Streisand concert than to sit through that shit again...
