New Initiative To Combating Terrorism

[FtBraggTACP]

The following is a tactical proposal for pre-emptively combating terrorism abroad:

A group of 3-5 C-130's flies low over the mountains tops and approaches a small, rural farming village, known to contain supporters of a terrorist regime. The rear ramps are open, and the cargo is pre-prepped for its drop. The cargo in this case is not loaded onto palates, nor is it sitting in seats along the skin of the aircraft. This cargo is being held in duffle bags.
100 squirming, writhing duffle bags; filled with Monkeys. All different types, in all different shapes and sizes.
As the village is passed overhead, the duffle bags are carried to the ramps, opened up and the monkeys are readied to be dumped out onto the village. The handlers begin punching, kicking, and shaking the bags, thoroughly agitating and angering the monkeys.
When the green lamp "Pops", the contents of the duffle bags are quickly dumped out the rear of the aircraft, and descend rapidly onto the stunned population, who have no doubt turned out see the American aircraft fly over.
A couple hundred villagers are immediately inundated by thousands of screaming, gnarling simians, who immediately begin to shred, and thrash anything, they come in contact with.
The village males, being somewhat chivalrous, attempt to defend the women and children as they rush into their huts. The men stay in the streets and attempt to fight off the small, aggravated beasts, who are now beginning to climb, and crawl, and claw all over the men folks.
The cheap cloth robes, and shirts of the defenders is quickly torn to shreds, and the men are now standing bare cheated, and becoming exhausted.

MEANWHILE, BACK UP ABOVE....

The C-130’s having come back around, and are lined up for their second run.
The ramps are down, and the cargo is again held in large bags, but not duffle bags......Large, clear plastic trash bags, containing thousands, and thousands of Jellyfish, sliming, and ungluing against themselves.
As the Lamp flashes green again, the bags are hoisted towards the open ramp as countless live and irritated jellyfish begin plummeting through the sky towards the farmers, villagers, and terrorist sympathizers below.
The men still fighting the monkeys, are stripped almost completely bare, and focused intently upon the primates running rampant along the ground about them, when the first ones strike...
SPLAT!!!!
A large pink invertebrate smacks against the bare back of one of the men, stinging him ferociously! As they man screams in agony, and turns his eyes skyward, to see where this attack has come from, SMACK!!! Another jellyfish lands squarely on his face, attacking again, and again.
SPLAT! SMACK! WHAAAP!
Men scream like little beaten schoolgirls, as thousands and thousands of pink, spineless, stinging hell comes raining down upon them...

Imagine, if you can, the awesome, and undeniable might, and audacity this would show the enemy.
We Are AMERICA! We can attack you anytime, anyplace, anywhere in the world.
We can drop bombs on you, Roll tanks over you, shoot you in your sleep...But NO! We flew 12,000 miles, and singled you out, to drop jungle dwelling primates and invertebrate sea creatures on you from above.

The terrorists would have no choice but to submit, as rapidly as possible. Even these backwards, primitive people know: "When an enemy drops nasty little stinging things that live in the sea on your head, a thousand miles from any ocean....you must capitulate!"

Well folks, that’s my plan.

I sent copies of this to the Pentagon, the White House, Langley, and even Oprah Winfrey, but I haven't heard anything yet. Dimmit!

Somewhere, inside a mud hut, looking safely out from inside, a woman snickers to herself at the plight of the men folk. "AAAAARRRRRGH!!!!"

By “Kennyâ€

[RTO]

you know, that is so stupid, it just might work!!!! :D

[Southern_Brit]

Just as believable as the other crazy shit you do:

http://www.jonronson.com/goats_04.html