Introduction-Luky

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Ollicron
Embryo
Posts: 7
Joined: December 2nd, 2020, 12:42 am

Introduction-Luky

Post by Ollicron »

It was the December of 2019, and I was on the 1 train to 42nd street to go to some shitty mingling event that really got me nowhere in life at the time because I wasn't confident and simply just a scared fucking kid. I came from the parking lot near ABC News, home to where I currently work at, and where I'm writing this from right now. I remember in this crowded train cart, I looked at a guy, muscular and built, and above all branding a t shirt with a symbol I was familiar of, and that was the 75th ranger regiment symbol. The guy looked at me straight in the eyes noting that I stared in admiration to his symbol before exiting on 50th street. The thing was, the guy was wearing a t shirt, a fucking t shirt, and if you know how cold NYC gets, outside it was probably 20 degrees Fahrenheit, the kind of cold you'd start to freeze your fucking ass off to and begin to shiver the minute you step out the doorway, and this guy was just there in this fucking train full of crowded people wearing a fucking t shirt. At the time I didn't understand why

I wanted to say something to him, but "what would I say?" I thought. You'd never expect a 2 minute ride on a train cart could completely confirm the reality you're faced with. At the time I guess you could say I was beginning to break out of a shell, it was only recently before going to this event on 23rd street that I began to grow out of the lazy virgin gamer life, and journey deep into the ascension of the man who writes this now. That was the time I said to myself, "I'll never be able to do that." I mean how the fuck would I? I was 25, 230 pounds, 5'8", just beginning to shed a small amount of weight (236 lbs when I started) that I gained from the triglycerides I would shove into my bloodstream daily with the donuts and Chinese takeout I would eat daily affirming that next year I'd take steps to lose weight.

Then as I begin to break out of this shell I began the impetus into my understanding suffering, following three months I fall in love with some fake Venezuelan girl on the internet and get robbed of $25,000 relying on the 'always faithful' attitude of that if I sacrifice enough I'll get the reward. My colleagues tried to help me, but in my eyes all I saw was this is the only person for me, and with the added element of manipulation the person I loved was going to die. You'd never expect that someone with my level of intellect would be so fucking naive and unwilling to accept the truth; but the reason I tell this isn't because of the robbery or the suffering I went through. The reason I mention this is because I want to show whoever is reading this, that the way I was living taking the easy ways out to things. And at the time I hadn't realized that, probably because society had bred me into a soft bowl of mashed potatoes and my only job was to go to work and go back home to jerk off.

It wasn't until I began to accept the truth and sought out mentor after mentor to help make me more of a man, disciplined and more unbreakable, confident for sure, but not the strongest I could be, that (almost two weeks ago) I eventually stumble into David Goggins videos. I always liked watching military documentaries, and always admired some military culture and figures, so I already knew about David Goggins and the Navy SEALs. What I didn't know would is that this fucking guy would eventually become the very person the universe said I needed, because all I could do was listen for hours upon hours to this guy. So I said okay, I think the best way to internalize the words this man was preaching could be aided by his book "Can't Hurt Me", and the more I read and literally immersed myself in his story, the more I understood the reasons of why no matter how many mentors would help me, I was never satisfied with who I really am. And to me that was scary.

I mean although I had grown out of my former shell, there was something wrong with me, something inside, that wasn't complete, and it wasn't the fact that I was and still am single, because at this point I did not give a flying fuck about bringing anyone into my life, everyone around me felt so weak, that every woman I approached couldn't even bear to stand the badass confidence I envelop around me, even then having a partner wouldn't make me happy because there was one thing missing. It was the fact that I did not feel like I was living, even when all around me seemed and appeared as if they were. Sure I knew, from all the motivational videos, the lessons to be learned from them, but applying them was another deal.

That is until Goggins, really fucking helped me turn my life around, and now I'm doing things nobody around me would even dare to do. I learned that in order to really feel alive I need to be in absolute sheer hellbent discomfort, and if possible embrace and welcome the thought that I want to fucking die trying for the things I do, that I would feel and taste adrenaline more now than ever. For instance, I approached Mona Kosar Abdi, and got really personal with her, even whilst my heart felt like it was falling out of my chest. That went into the cookie jar. I started taking minor risks at the mall hitting on girl after girl (something I wouldn't normally do). That went into the cookie jar. I lost 10 lbs in ten days, a struggle I dealt with after plateauing for months (which put me at my current weight of 171 lbs). That went into the cookie jar.

And then I did something unconsciously, I decided to run with just a t-shirt on, and not just run, but run 1.5 miles. I strapped my heart rate monitor, put a 2.5lb weight on a one strap backpack to hold a water bottle in. And with all the wind and 50 degree Farenheit weather I jogged (with many breaks in because I kept running out of breath). I ended up running 1.5 miles to a deli at a corner, and back, and as I jogged, my lungs were just screaming with agony for me to stop, I didn't, I just paused for a bit to walk a few feet and kept jogging. I coughed up a lot of saliva with mucus that's built up from the lack of well...jogging for a long time, in essence it always happens that when I begin to run after having been on a long term exodus, my lungs clear themselves in a violent fashion of the minor phlegm that builds up within that period. I got home, and kept working out as I always do, and this time I pushed myself harder as I kept listening to Goggins words like a coach in my Phaiser wireless headphones.

And then after a couple of days of running this way, getting stares from people hiding in the darkness of the night within their cars (I have to do this at night because I work a night shift), I got used to even going to work in a t-shirt. Remember I'm doing this unconsciously, because all I'm thinking about are the things David Goggins is whispering into my ears. I wanted every moment to suck, and suffer, and although I always told my coworkers I didn't care if I get COVID, this time I really want it. Well except for the warm shower I take, which is my small escape from Goggins. I wanted to feel pain so badly, that I ordered a pull up bar which at the time of writing this, still hasn't arrived; but really it's to see if I can actually do a single one in relation to my prior experience with the assisted pull up machine at Planet Fitness. And then as I click the place order button on Amazon, it hit me, SPECIAL FORCES! I admired David Goggins' involvement in the SEALs, but inside I felt like after watching so many documentaries, what if I could be that guy now, and be part of the guys who do this kind of shit for a living? Well I hated the thought of drowning all the time in water so SEALs were out of the question.

I always loved the imagery of warriors, and I wanted to aim higher than high so aha! MARSOC! Until I realized well you'd need to go under special selection after years of service for that. In my mind the crucible ritual they go through (yes this is how much of military documentaries I've seen) would be too easy. I mean I asked the fucking lady giving me the swab style COVID test at ABC to ram the thing up my nostril so it hurt me with the excuse that I wanted a thorough test (which she gladly did not disappoint doing a job of I mean I left that seat in tears from the torture this crazy lady inflicted on my nostril). I thought am I really willing to wait years upon years worth of fighting battles just to later on get selected for MARSOC? Hell no.

And then it finally hit me about yesterday. The nature of the things I was doing, the fucking screaming roars I let out while running that scared the people in their homes enough to look out the window as I was running while listening to David telling me to stay hard, stay savage. I was sitting on my $2000 gaming desktop and I just get a sudden flashback of the dude on the 1 train wearing a t-shirt in 20 degree weather. The Green Berets. I finally understood why the guy fucking did something so crazy like what I was doing. I mean you have to be a whole other level of crazy to want to go out at night in cold freezing weather in a t-shirt, and there I was doing that shit unconsciously. UNCONSCIOUSLY, LIKE I JUST HAVE TO DO IT. I mean I'm breaking out push-ups like a crazy person, to the point where I feel pain, then for some reason I just end up not feeling it so I go back and do it again, while listening to David, and do it again, but it's just not there. I wanted to feel that pain again and again, and the less I began to feel, the more I did, I was running out of time before I got to work. I hit the shower limping, my shoulder for some reason no longer sore as I write this, but I saw that pain as some sort of reward, I don't understand why, but it just did. And like that it is going into what David calls the cookie jar. And I thought hey, I remember the Navy SEALs had a forum so why not just join the rangers one, maybe I can find a better way to indulge my newfound masochism take a shot, why not?
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IntelToad
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Re: Introduction-Luky

Post by IntelToad »

Well that's quite the story.

There are even better ones around here, take some time to read them especially the letters from school and the experiences of those that showed up here as civilians and made their way into the Regiment. Also, always capitalize Ranger.
S-2, HQ 75th, 1985-1987
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BlueLiner
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Joined: January 21st, 2016, 5:24 pm

Re: Introduction-Luky

Post by BlueLiner »

Cool story bro, how about instead of ranting to us about how you discovered a podcast and watched a bunch of documentaries and your so called “masochistic” attitude, YOU CAPITALIZE THE WORD RANGER. Smoke yourself and elevate your feet. Do 25 push-ups +1 for the Airborne Ranger In The Sky for every letter in your name.
RASP 7-19
RS 9-20
Mentee to Ranger Slowpoke
"Get that lumber in his teeth! Let 'em know you're there!" - Reggie Dunlop
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Ollicron
Embryo
Posts: 7
Joined: December 2nd, 2020, 12:42 am

Re: Introduction-Luky

Post by Ollicron »

Roger that! +1 for the Rangers!
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