1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

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BonesC75RVN
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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by BonesC75RVN »

Ranger al_2nd Wolfhound, you said it. You know war is hell when you have to stand down wind from shit burning detail, just to get a buzz. Those crazy potheads were probably stuffing their faces with pound cakes and John Wayne silver dollars at the same time too. Geez, I haven't thought about John Wayne silver dollars in a long time........you're provoking me Ranger al
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al_2ndWolfhounds
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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by al_2ndWolfhounds »

3rd installment of Burning Shit.

As a Company XO my job kept me in the Cu Chi base camp most of the time and I had the opportunity to get to know our Bn Command & Support Staff. Our Bn SGM was a really old school NCO served as an Infantryman in WWII, Korea and was on his second tour in Vietnam. Hell of a man just don't get on his bad side, like that isn't common knowledge of all SGM's.

Anyway his typical tirade started out by calling out "Hey Shit Bird", not a good start for the encounter. Typically shit birds ended up on shit burning duty. Like any good NCO the SGM explained in detail the task at hand and pointed the young shit bird to the petrol shed. And again like any good NCO came back about 30 minutes later to check up on the young soldier. This poor kid hadn't even finished replacement training and it went downhill from this point. As the SGM walked up and started yelling at the kid about the shit not burning he lit the shit and boom. Explosive burning shit raining down in about a 30 ft circle, You got it, he used gasoline instead of kerosene. The SGM didn't even break stride dropping and rolling then up to knock the kid down and rolling him over. Shit Bird forever more.

The SGM tirade ran over all of us threatening that if this showed up in the citation of an Award for The Soldier's Medal he promised us he would end up in Leavenwotth for killing the culprit or culprits and the rumor mill on this incident was dead as of right then. Little surprise that all ended up knowing but it was never mentioned around the SGM.

Hope every one has a chuckle or two so far, if you haven't you need to think to get a bit of an imagination and think about the hardest ass Senior NonCom you've ever been around and put him in that role with one of the screw ups you may have encountered in the service. If that doesn't work....never mind.
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"In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take." - Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)
“The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.” – Joseph Heller, Catch-22
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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by garyedolan »

Another "MONKEY" story--this one taken from a page of my book:
...
Dunn momentarily stood on the top of the rickety wooden steps the men had hastily built outside the hooch. Silently he peeked inside the hooch. He saw assorted gear, clothing, strange trophies and a collection of who-knows-what, strewn all around the floor and walls. The men of double Deuce were fully dressed but sound asleep and, unlike while in the bush, snoring loudly on their respective cots. Dunn could also hear the playful shrill chirping of Deros from somewhere inside.
As he turned around to go down the rather unstable steps, he noticed the men of Teams 23 and 24 had returned and were packing the necessary supplies they obtained. Then he saw Rusky waiting for him at the bottom of the wobbly wooden stairs. Instead of walking, Dunn jumped down.
“How ya doing, boss? I’ve got to get something in the hooch for the Mad Swede. Be right back,” explained Rusky as he swiftly climbed the stairs and entered the hooch. Dunn then heard him yelling.
“Hey! You, monkey. Hey! Scat. Get away from there! Oh, no, monkey! That does it.”
BAM!
“What the fuck?” said a Ranger.
“Who fired a shot? Why was a shot fired?” Dunn called as he hurried back up the steps and into the hooch.
“Rusky, you fuckhead! You shot Deros! You killed my pet monkey! Why the fuck did you do that?” asked an enraged Slant, who had been shocked awake from a deep sleep.
“Hey, man, it got into that box of grenades over there under the cot,” Rusky explained.
“You didn’t have to fucking kill it!” shouted Garbo.
“It was either you or the monkey. It was pulling the grenades out of the box by the pins and that damn monkey could have killed us all!” Rusky turned towards Dunn and pointed at Garbo. “Hey, boss, tell this cherry here there’s a war going on, and this is no place for pets.”
“I’ve been on a mission. I’m no fucking cherry!” insisted a most poignant and distressed Garbo.
“Double Deuce was not in a contact. Until you’ve been in a contact, you’re still a cherry in my book,” replied the unrepentant Rusky.
“Alright, guys, it’s fucking over. Let’s get this cleaned up. I’ll take care of this, sir,” The Mad Swede took control.
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al_2ndWolfhounds
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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by al_2ndWolfhounds »

As I saw in another post my unit in Vietnam usually didn't carry munitions for more that a week or so. This accomplished several things; we always had clean ammo, we had the opportunity to train others on the M-60, M-79, 90mm Recoilless Rifle and our hand held 60mm mortar and have a great time blowing things up with Claymores and C-4.

It just so happened that our Bn Chaplain was visiting during one of these sessions. After watching for a while he asked if he could join in the fun. He was a good guy so we let him have some fun too. I gave him a specific aiming point...a dead tree about 50 meters out. Everything went great and he thoroughly enjoyed himself. As he was walking away he turned and asked if he could fire a LAW. We gave him the basic instructions and set him up to fire at the tree again. Just as he was ready to fire he changed his aim point off to the left which caused those on his right rear side to scream and duck. Whoosh...BOOM scratch one water buffalo. I calmly told him that he had endangered peoples lives and that he need not ask to join in our firing in the future. He looked at me strangely and asked if I was pissed off at him. My reply; Chaplain I'm not pissed, but then I don't have to explain to the Bn S-5 why he has to pay for a water buffalo.

The strangest part about things like that happening was that it cost more to pay for a water buffalo or a cow than it was for a person.
RLTW

Active service 01/67-12/73
Ranger Class 10-68
2/27 Inf 25th Inf Div Vietnam 01/69-01/70

"In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take." - Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)
“The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.” – Joseph Heller, Catch-22
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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by al_2ndWolfhounds »

During my time in Vietnam our battalion had three Battalion Commanders. The first two were wounded and rotated out. The third managed to make it through the last six months of my tour.

When he was first assigned most of the troops were more than a little worried about what was coming. His name was LTC George Armstrong Custer III. And yes he was related.

http://www.wolfhoundcountry.com/custer.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Last edited by al_2ndWolfhounds on March 13th, 2010, 6:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
RLTW

Active service 01/67-12/73
Ranger Class 10-68
2/27 Inf 25th Inf Div Vietnam 01/69-01/70

"In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take." - Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)
“The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.” – Joseph Heller, Catch-22
Dan B 3/75
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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by Dan B 3/75 »

al_2ndWolfhounds wrote:During my time in Vietnam our battalion had three Battalion Commanders Commanders. The first two were wounded and rotated out. The third managed to make it through the last six months of my tour.

When he was first assigned most of the troops were more than a little worried about what was coming. His name was LTC George Armstrong Custer III. And yes he was related.

http://www.wolfhoundcountry.com/custer.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!


Good shit!!
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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by snafu »

al_2ndWolfhounds wrote:His name was LTC George Armstrong Custer III. And yes he was related.

http://www.wolfhoundcountry.com/custer.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;



Gulp! :shock: Good shit!
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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by Jim »

COL Sandy Meloy was my Brigade CO in 1st Bde, 82d Abn. He was a breath of fresh air.
Knew Lew Millett, he was the first Vietnamese Ranger Advisor in 1960.
We were fortunate to serve with legends. Soldiers in Afghanistan and Iraq are creating their own legends.
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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by al_2ndWolfhounds »

After Vietnam I was assigned to the 194th Armored Brigade at Ft. Knox KY as Bde S-4. Our Brigade's primary mission was providing support for the Armor School. It was during this time that BG George S. Patton (son of THE George S. Patton) became Assistant Commandant of the School. We were set up to give him a briefing two weeks after his arrival. It did not take long before we started hearing horror stories of the briefings by the different Departments of the Armor School. Apparently he insisted on interrupting Department Heads in the middle of their briefings and requiring their Department Assistants to take up and finish the briefing.

Suffice it to say that it didn't take long for us to start making sure that everyone including the Bde Deputy Commander, the Bde XO, the Asst. S-1 and Asst S-3's were ready. I did not have an Assistant and neither did the S-2. Then we got the request to make sure that all Bn CO's and XO's also be present. Everything was planned out and practiced. I was scheduled for 10 minutes of briefing. During all of the initial remarks and through the briefings by the S-1 through the S-3 General Patton only interrupted occasionally to ask a question or clarification. I was the last scheduled briefer with the Bn CO's and XO's prepared if the General required one from them.

When it came my turn things had gone so smoothly that I had relaxed and was ready. I was only two minutes into my briefing when the beginning of a 45 minute discussion began between little old 8 month in grade Captain and the General. Unfortunately I had to report excessive down time on our armor, wheeled and aviation vehicles. This is where it got to be real dicey. Fortunately I had the answers that he required and which he verified with the various CO's at the briefing.

Bottom line was our two biggest problems were:

Post Headquarters that continuously held back a portion of each operating quarters financial budget which they typically released in the last month of the fiscal year. Of course we would then order everything that we could not during the previous 11 months with the result that Post Supply would issue everything they had on hand order the rest and issue them to us during the next Fiscal Year coming out of that years budget.

The Aviation problem was simple; we had no aviation direct support unit on post. Every time a helicopter required direct support maintenance would go to the General Support Unit on Post and the would then order the parts they were not authorized to keep on hand.

As soon as the General was through with me he thanked everyone and said he would check to see what he could do to solve these two problems.

OK, I know this has been perfectly boring up to this point but if you are still with me here is where it gets funny.

About two weeks later I am at my desk when someone enters and sits in one of the chairs in front of my desk, as I look up I notice 6 stars - 3 on each collar. I quickly came to attention and apologize for not doing it sooner. The very nice Lieutenant General introduces himself as General Heiser Deputy Chief of Staff for Army Logistics and that George called and asked him to help me out with my problem. While we were talking the Bde S-3 (LTC) came in smoking his cigar and sat down next to the General and put his feet up on my desk as he usually did and then looked over and noticed the General. He jumped up, saluted and apologized to the General and backed out of my office. He then ran down the stairs to the first floor and started chewing out our S-1 for not letting him know there was a General in the building. It then started up a full fledged inquiry of who the General was and why the post protocol office had not informed us? They didn't know and asked what General? At this point my Bde CO came upstairs and introduced himself to the General and joined our discussion.

Of course I ended up getting my ass chewed out by the S-3 and the S-1 for not letting them know I had a General in my office. OK live and learn. Not through yet. About two weeks later I am working in my office when MG William Maddox Chief of Army Aviation comes in and introduces himself, I then informed him that I knew him and had served in his Brigade in Vietnam and had met him when I was a Platoon Leader. I asked him to have a seat and inquired if he had passed through our S-1 on the way up to my office? He hadn't so I excused myself and picked up my phone, while I was talking to the S-1 guess who came in with a cigar in his mouth and plopped down in the chair next to the General? Unless you are a total dumb ass you got in one. This time I thought he was going to faint he got so white. Again he ran down the stairs but before he could get to the S-1 the Bde CO was already on his way up to my office. Who says officers can't learn? We had a nice discussion got the spare parts authorized for the General Support Unit and then got invited to lunch by the General.

The S-3 never again came into my office without first looking to see who might be in my office. It actually was kind of funny. He was an okay guy, before becoming an officer he had been an SFC before getting a direct commission to 1st Lt. When he was a company commander in Germany our then Bde CSM had been his 1SG. They both had the same picture on their walls with the two of them along with a young soldier from their unit. Young soldier was Elvis Presley.

This ended up longer than I expected, hope you still enjoy. Both visiting Generals were very distinguished in their fields.

LTG Joseph M. Heiser, Jr. was the first Honorary Colonel of the Ordnance Corps, May 1987-May 1990 and is in the Ordnance Hall of Fame. His name has become synonymous with two of the most successful programs in Ordnance: the close loop system and the logistics offensive.

MG William J. Maddox Jr. served in three wars, including three tours in Vietnam, where he commanded a battalion, brigade and aviation group. In all, he amassed more than 10,600 flying hours, including 4,000 in combat in Korea, Vietnam and Cambodia. His decorations included the Distinguished Service Medal, four Silver Stars, 127 Air Medals, eight Distinguished Flying Crosses and five Legions of Merit. An exceptional man. For more info http://www.quad-a.org/index.php?option= ... &Itemid=76" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
RLTW

Active service 01/67-12/73
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2/27 Inf 25th Inf Div Vietnam 01/69-01/70

"In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take." - Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)
“The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.” – Joseph Heller, Catch-22
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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by PocketKings »

Love these stories. Keep them up!
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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by Lefty »

Good thread - I can really relate to that arrival at Tan Son Nhut - flew over on Delta, remember seeing that landscape (this was 1970) pockmarked with bomb craters like bad acne and all the haze. Also will never forget when the door opened and the damp heat rolled over me with that incredible smell of rotten fish, kerosene, smoke and everything else in that aerial soup that came to symbolize SE Asia for the rest of my days. God was it hot! I think that smell permeated my body for years....well, months any way.
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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by al_2ndWolfhounds »

Lefty wrote:Good thread - God was it hot! I think that smell permeated my body for years....well, months any way.
When I left Detroit Metro Airport after my leave prior to going to Vietnam it was Jan 5th with a temperature of -15 with a windchill of -25. Two days later arrived in the Sunny mid summer of Vietnam at 114 degrees. As Robin Williams said in Good Morning Vietnam it was Damn Hot.

Departed Vietnam Jan 7th following year 120 degrees, 2 days later back to Detroit Metro Airport -20 and didn't bother to even try finding out what the wind chill was.

Back in that time period they were still rolling the mobile stairways out to the planes. My problem was that all my gear was destroyed when the truck taking all of our gear from Cu Chi to Tay Ninh when the truck carrying it rolled over a mine. They had to issue me a set of khakis in Vietnam to wear back to the states, not a problem when we landed in California, luckily a stewardess allowed me to use a blanket to get to the terminal in Detroit.

Going over a 129 Degree change in two days, coming back 140 Degree change. I seem to remember the change was easier going over than coming back.
RLTW

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2/27 Inf 25th Inf Div Vietnam 01/69-01/70

"In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take." - Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)
“The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.” – Joseph Heller, Catch-22
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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by Jim »

al_2ndWolfhounds wrote:I seem to remember the change was easier going over than coming back.
in many ways, Brother!
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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past

Post by al_2ndWolfhounds »

I sure hope VIP treatment isn't as much BS as it was while I served. Had several occasions to have run ins. The first happened in Vietnam while I was a platoon leader. We had two companies operation out of a patrol base 1 kilometer from the Cambodian border. When it came our turn to trade out locations only one company to fill a two company Patrol Base. Bn CO solved the problem, my platoon was opconed to C/2/27. Don't ever get placed OPCON. OPCON means you are going to get all the shitty patrols, in our case to the south and the east into the swamp and canals. For 2 weeks every day we sloughed through the swamps and canals, of course our patrols lasted longer than the C Co platoon so every time we came back in the clothing exchage had already been completed. We showered in our clothes to get them clean. Sun dried them pretty quickly.

After a week of this I pushed my platoon to get back in before the other platoons. When I called into the HQ to let them know we were coming in the call came back as negative; VIP inbound stay out until he leaves. Having a piss poor attitude I responded with a disgruntled out. I then rushed my platoon into the compound as the helicopter was approaching. The Company CO was screaming at me but it was too late to get back out so he ordered us to hide in our bunkers. We packed very uncomfortably. One of my team leaders was just barely in the bunker and sitting next to me.

We had been hiding for about 5 minutes when the VIP group walked up to our bunker. A Man in a white suit and black tie bends down to look at my team leader and in a nice Georgia accent and says "Bud what are you doing in their it must be hotter than hell in there and your all muddy and wet. Bud, my team leader with a big smile on his face says "I'm hiding from you Uncle Jack".

They had a nice visit after we all got cleaned up while the C Co CO was having his ass chewed by the Bn CO. We were on helicopters out of there 3 hours later.

His Uncle was a Baptist Bishop that was the Military Ordinairiate from the Baptist Faith. Please tell me the Army has changed...never mind, I don't want anyone having to lie to me, it couldn't have changed that much.
Last edited by al_2ndWolfhounds on June 19th, 2010, 7:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
RLTW

Active service 01/67-12/73
Ranger Class 10-68
2/27 Inf 25th Inf Div Vietnam 01/69-01/70

"In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take." - Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)
“The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.” – Joseph Heller, Catch-22
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