Italian Mothers

[Jim]

Why Italian Mothers Are Best

Rocco excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married.

He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."

The mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while.

He then says, "Okay, Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry?"

She immediately replies, "The one on the right."

That's amazing, Ma.

You're right.

How did you know?

The Italian mother replied: "I don't like her."

[Steadfast]

Very clean joke Jim but to keep the string going. . . I've heard quite a few and this is one of my favorites.

A young shy Italian girl & her new husband are going to stay their first married night together at Mama's house.

Daughter: Mama, now we go to bed, what should I first do for him?

Mama: Kiss him all over, losen his tie, take his tuxedo jacket & shirt offa him.

So daughter and her new hubby go upstairs to her room & shortly she comes back down.
daughter: I do what you say Mama, now what should I do?

Mama: Go kiss him some more and then take off his shoes & socks and then his pants & underwear kissing him all the time.

Daughter goes back up and follows Mama's advice. When she takes off his shoes & socks she sees hubby has half a foot missing. Horrified she runs back down stairs screaming to Mama:

Mama, Mama, he's got a foot & a half!

Mama says, You stay down here, I'ma going upstairs!

[Lefty]

The one I heard started out the same but had a different ending -

After all the preliminaries the daughter came downstairs and said "Mama what do I do now?"

Mama says "Take the hardest thing he has and put it in the deepest thing you have"

So the daughter went and got his bowling ball and dropped it down the well.

[colt1rgr]

Here's a Blonde joke for shits and grins...

A blonde knocks on a guys door and says "Hi! I'm looking for some side jobs to earn some money for college, do you have anything I could do?"

Guy says "Yeah you can paint my porch for me it really needs it. How much would you charge?"

Blonde says "How about $50 bucks?" Guy says "Deal. All the paint and brushes are in the garage, just let me know when you are done."

The guys wife who was listening at the door says to her husband "What is she stupid? Can't she see our porch goes all the way around the house? All that for $50 bucks?" Guys says "Oh well!"

A couple hours later the blonde knocks on the door and announces that she is finished. Guy is amazed. "Wow! All that in only two hours?" Blonde says "Yep! And I had extra paint so I gave her two coats!" Guy says "Great, here's your $50 bucks"

Blonde says "Gee thanks! And Oh, by the way, it's not a porch...... it's a Lexus!"