An Airborne Christmas jingle for you heathens.

[K.Ingraham]

Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the plane,
The jumpmaster’s crazy
And the safety’s insane.

The static lines were hung
On the cables with care
In hopes that a green light
Soon would be there.

At the one minute warning
Not a word would be said,
While malfunctions and entanglements
Danced through their heads.

With the door bundles rigged
I hook up my pack,
Let’s pull this jump off
Without a racetrack!

When out on the wing
There rose such a clatter,
I opened the door
To see what was the matter,

And what to my night-visioned eyes
Should appear,
But a towed parachutist
And eight reindeer.

I leaned out the door
And grabbed hold of his sleigh,
He gave a four thousand count
When I cut him away.

He fell through the night
‘Till I saw him no more,
Then came back inside
And yelled, “Stand in the door.”

Some jumpers were happy
And some full of fright,
But when the green light came on
They all jumped that night.

On bundle, on jumpers,
The jumpmaster exits the door,
One thousand, two thousand
Three thousand, four!

With my body in the blast
And my knees in the breeze,
St. Michael protect me,
From all of these trees!

Dark skies full of chutes
And strong winds did blow,
Then heard a faint distant Laughter,
From the DZSO.

One riser slip
Hand over hand to my right,
But my hands were so cold
I could not hold on tight.

Now lower your ruck
And slip hard as you can,
Put your feet and knees together
And get ready to land.

Ball of the feet, calf, thigh,
And push up muscle,
Roll up your chute
And move out with a hustle.

To the chute turn-in point,
The red light and a vest,
Be sure your name is scratched
From the jump manifest.

I saw the assembly point
A strobe light so bright,
I knew even new troopers,
Would find it that night.

No matter where or when
Be it Desert or Snow,
The paratroopers
Are ready to go.

For it was that jolly towed parachutist
Holding that light,
Saying happy jumping to all
And to all a good night!

[Steadfast]

Well done Ranger. I never read that one before.