Items for the FNG's

Oto-Man · Post by **Oto-Man** » December 22nd, 2007, 8:57 pm

What were the funniest things you ever sent a newbie to get?
Found a partial list online.

Brass magnet (on firing range)
Relative bearing grease
Winter air for tires
chemlight batteries/chemlight recharger
a can of radio squelch
A length of chow line
Radar contacts
10 feet of waterline
Cannon report (The sound of a cannon being fired)
Boom test - Where the soldier yells "boom" through the barrel of a cannon (howitzer) to test the acoustics
Frequency oil
Squelch grease
Headlight fluid
A box of grid squares
A box of ground guides
Gallon of checkered paint
Can of muzzle blast
Reverse lights for a Humvee
Keys to a Humvee
Blank Firing Adaptor (BFA) for a 90mm
PRC-E8 Radio
Exhaust samples
A box of ohms
The keys for the indoor mortar range
Can of military bearings - military bearing is the manner in which a servicemember comports himself.
A smoke deflector for a grenade launcher
Radio Net Large or Small
BA-1100 November (balloon)
TR-2E (tree)
TR-Double E (tree)
ST-1 (stone)
ID10-Tango Form (idiot form)
A.S.H. Receiver (ash tray)
canopy lights (for parachute canopies; supposedly for night jumps)
a bottle of rotor wash for helicopters
a length of flight line
Keys to the drop zone

Vee · Post by **Vee** » December 22nd, 2007, 10:33 pm

I had a 20 year old E-5 try that on my 28 year old PFC ass once (canopy lights).

I told him he was full of shit and then just automatically started pushing.

rgrpuck · Post by **rgrpuck** » December 22nd, 2007, 10:37 pm

Vee wrote:I had a 20 year old E-5 try that on my 28 year old PFC ass once (canopy lights).

I told him he was full of shit and then just automatically started pushing.

You did that alot didnt you ?

Vee · Post by **Vee** » December 22nd, 2007, 10:38 pm

rgrpuck wrote:
You did that alot didnt you ?

I fucking SINGLE-HANDEDLY kept Georgia from floating off into space with my bare hands for almost four years!

rgrpuck · Post by **rgrpuck** » December 22nd, 2007, 10:48 pm

Vee wrote:
rgrpuck wrote:
You did that alot didnt you ?

I fucking SINGLE-HANDEDLY kept Georgia from floating off into space with my bare hands for almost four years!

Then how did you stay such a skinny little fucker ? you should look like Ahhnold

Vee · Post by **Vee** » December 22nd, 2007, 10:53 pm

rgrpuck wrote:
Then how did you stay such a skinny little fucker ? you should look like Ahhnold

Even at almost thirty pounds heavier on active duty, that still wasn't much weight to push up and down all day.

I got so good at pushups that they finally stopped and made me start climbin the rope instead.

rgrpuck · Post by **rgrpuck** » December 22nd, 2007, 10:57 pm

Vee wrote:
rgrpuck wrote:
Then how did you stay such a skinny little fucker ? you should look like Ahhnold
Even at almost thirty pounds heavier on active duty, that still wasn't much weight to push up and down all day.

I got so good at pushups that they finally stopped and made me start climbin the rope instead.

The flutter kick

Vee · Post by **Vee** » December 22nd, 2007, 10:59 pm

rgrpuck wrote:
The flutter kick

That came between the pushup and the rope, but Struecker had me pretty proficient at those too by the time I got through RIP.

KW Driver · Post by **KW Driver** » December 22nd, 2007, 11:03 pm

buddy sent the cherry LT back to main post in Germany for Dragon backblast bags (Germany's different Sir...)

knew a PVT that sliced up a Benning Special for the box of grid squares...

F50LRRP · Post by **F50LRRP** » December 23rd, 2007, 9:30 am

When I was in a mech Infantry unit they used to send newbies to S-4 for cans of "track tension" or sky hooks.

Mike

cams · Post by **cams** » December 23rd, 2007, 10:37 am

Borebrush for the 90.

Oto-Man · Post by **Oto-Man** » December 23rd, 2007, 11:00 am

cams wrote:Borebrush for the 90.

I actually still have a 90 bore brush...really....

But the back blast bags were the best......

cams · Post by **cams** » December 23rd, 2007, 11:19 am

PM sent.

31B_Soldier · Post by **31B_Soldier** » December 23rd, 2007, 12:16 pm

A few weeks ago, our new BC was joking around with some of us after a formation, and he said to me

"Hey highspeed, go find me some chemlight batteries....I need some for the ride back tonight."

Lets just say his eyes got BIG when I brought him some....I guess he didnt know now there are electronic chemlights?

1 Point for the Spc!

Though...I did get off of a longgg mission soon after that...tired as fuck, and was told to turn on the truck lights so we could test the halogen fluid level in the lights...I turned em on and looked for the dipstick! sigh...

Sleepy Doc · Post by **Sleepy Doc** » December 23rd, 2007, 12:19 pm

I though 5 years in the Guard had exposed me to all of the FNG jokes...

They were getting dudes left and right while I thought, "Fuckers gotta get up early to pull one over on the kid.."

One of the 18Ds must have been getting up at 3 fuckin am when they sent me to the "pallet building class"..

"DELANEY!!!..." "Roger, Sarn't!.." "Get your cherry-ass down to the airfield ASAFP!.. there is gonna be a class on building the aircraft pallet bundles and we need someone there. You will be our go to guy. Now get going..." "Ahhh!.. MOVING, Sarn't!..."

Our intrepid FNG gets to the airfield hangar.. "No, there is no class here.. mabey its out at Leyte Helipad?.." [editors note: for those who don't know, Leyte Helipad is out past RTB over 12 miles away, in the middle of fucking nowhere] Spent the better part of the day driving around searching for this fucking non-existent class. Fuckers were rolling on the floor howling by the time I got back...

[edited to add: didn't know it at the time that the Air Force cats build the most of the pallets that get air loaded]