List of memorable/classic ArmyRanger.com sayings

[RBL_M1A2Tanker]

Awwwww the old purple kool-aid routine. Yeah that kills everytime.

[Cat]

Borebrush on Hillary Clinton:

The cunt missed out on alot of cock on deployment. She woulda been a solid 5 underway. Maybe a 8 in the fanroom, if she took it to the root. (Jimmy Stare Changed My Life)

[MrsDocMac]

what the hell does egg mean?

It means you aren't even cool enough to be sperm yet.

[GSXRanger]

Well my son, it is apparant you need the love of GRITS (Great Ranger In The Sky) and Im the Pastor. Please take a knee and bow your head.

O" GRITS, we beseech thee O God of Warriors to grant this nasty fucker much trim and may his nag win at the track. May his sammichs have just enough mayonase and meat. May his heart be merry as he closes with and destroys the enemy. And may he get much trim.

Fuck you.

I have committed this to memory...

[GSXRanger]

However, I've always had doubts about Aquaman. I think he's queer as a tennis helmet.

This made me pop a fucking staple...

[KW Driver]

im looking for one now...but i look worse in uniform

Well, I'm sure I look just as bad masterbating in just a snorkel and mask, but I still have a picture of it.

[GSXRanger]

However, after a few drinks, a picture to use for a minute was a nice present.

Thanks admins, I needed the release.

Ranger SW... you crack me up!

CLASSIC!!!

[Towedjmpr]

This probably isnt the way to fix your midlife crisis....go buy a Harley...divorce your fat ass wife ..... find a young hot chic that will buy you poser stories ....But dont fucking bother us with disrespectful attitude.

SGM, you are my hero. ~S~

[Invictus]

At your age I was a hardcore motherfucker, entire housing projects would go dark when my car pulled into the parking lot.

[Jim]

I KNOW men will say or do anything to get into a females pants!

Oh young one, you have so much to learn.

That is not true.

I will do or say anything to get in her MOUTH. I'll give her cash to get in her pants!

[GSXRanger]

And its good, like 8 year old Thai boy good, sooo damn tight.

That's some RHF shit there...

[Jim]

Once your verification is complete you'll have my address, then you can come over and mow my lawn.

SB, with all them stripes you have, wont you have to salute him soon?

I wouldn't salute him, I would salute the memory of the fine leaders that wore his grade insignia prior to him. He would get a "Good fucking morning Sir"

Priceless, just fucking priceless.

[hott_1_4_u]

[quote="Old Grunt"]My guess here is that Ranger Big Mare probably scores more often than the rest of you hard chargers put together. He's got the right idea. The game begins before you make your first move.

When you're on pussy patrol it's no different than any other type of combat operation, just a different objective. Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance. Utilize the techniques of:
Reconnaissance
Target Identification
Threat assessment

First, recon the AO; take a few seconds to look over the bar. Maybe walk slowly to the restroom and check out the availables. Pay attention to detail. Notice what the prospectives are doing, wearing, etc. This will be important later.
Look for eye contact. If there’s some sweet young thang on the prowl, and she likes the cut of your jib, she’s at least gonna look. Try to keep your tongue off the floor and smile back. Look for body language; people were fucking long before they were talking. If she touches her hair, sweeps a lock back out of her eyes or grabs a lock and twirls it, re-crosses her legs, or swivels her chair slightly in your direction, you’re halfway home. If she breaks contact immediately, crosses her arms, or suddenly develops an intense interest in her drink, you’ve got about as much chance as a hajji armed with a stick against an M1A Abrams.

Look out for boyfriends, wingmen, and power drinkers. If a boyfriend appears, you might get an opportunity to kick some ass, but the odds are good that his little squeeze isn’t gonna make bail for you. If she’s got a wingman (or wing chick in this case), unless you’ve got some way to lay her off on someone else, your chances of scoring are cut in half. IMPORTANT NOTE: There are exceptions. If the target smiles at you, and the wingman smiles at you too, then throws her arm around her buddy, you have hit the mother lode! Abandon all hope of getting out alive, prepare a good excuse to the 1st SGT for missing your next formation, and change the location of your car (and the tags) so the repoman will not snatch your car until you’ve had an opportunity to make up the payment that you will no doubt miss, since when they cut you loose you will be broke. And not necessarily in just the financial sense.
But I digress.

Unless you’re so desperate you’re willing to play Russian roulette for a chance to soak your soldier, stay away from power drinkers. They’re probably as crazy as you are, completely unpredictable, and often look at you as just another way to get drunk for free. I once saw a tiny, petite, ballerina (a real ballerina, btw) drink an Irish ex-boxer under the table, doing tequila shooters until he did a lip stand into the peanuts, then stick him with the tab.

Once you have isolated your target, seen the green light over the door, and verified that the LZ ain’t hot, make your approach.

A really good line, when delivered properly (with sincerity and an open smile) is; “Hi. My name is (insert name here). Do you mind if I sit down?â€