Ten thoughts to ponder

Chiron · Post by **Chiron** » March 30th, 2011, 10:57 am

Number 10 Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich .

Number 7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6 Some people are like a Slinky-not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.

Number 4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

Number 2 In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers--what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

- - - and as someone recently said to me: "Don't worry about old age--it doesn't last long."

Jim · Post by **Jim** » March 30th, 2011, 11:10 am

I went out with some friends last night and tied one on.

Knowing that I was wasted, I did something that I have never done before. I took the bus home.

I arrived home safe and warm, which seemed really surprising as I have never driven a bus before.

Steadfast · Post by **Steadfast** » March 30th, 2011, 5:44 pm

Why worry?

There are two things to worry about, either you are well or sick.
If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about,
but if you are sick there are two things to worry about.
You will get well or you will die.
If you get well there is nothing to worry about.
If you get die then there are two things to worry about.
Either you go up or down.
If you go up there is nothing to worry about.
If you go down you will be very busy shaking hands with
old friends you won't have time to worry.

KW Driver · Post by **KW Driver** » March 30th, 2011, 6:29 pm

7a: light a fire for someone and he'll stay warm for a day.

Light him on fire and he'll stay warm for the rest of his life.

RangerX · Post by **RangerX** » March 30th, 2011, 6:31 pm

KW Driver wrote:7a: light a fire for someone and he'll stay warm for a day.

Light him on fire and he'll stay warm for the rest of his life.

One of my all time personal favorites.

NottheFaceJames · Post by **NottheFaceJames** » May 9th, 2011, 9:46 am

Well that lightened my day today, Ranger Chiron.

C-MAC · Post by **C-MAC** » May 9th, 2011, 11:20 am

Number 5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.

I would rather die of lead poisoning than death by a 100 granola bars.

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