Random thought of the moment.

[Lunch]

Was so...I hadn't even considered the possibility until Slowpoke asked if he was the only one who does it.

Uh, see, whisking the macaroni could be construed as a....never mind.

I suppose next you are gonna deny ever trying to stuff your own cannoli...

[IEDmagnet]

Why does vacation have to end? For the past week I have been on the beach and by the pool....drinking and being a lazy slack ass. Now I am back in the real world and it sucks.

But thank god I don't go back to work until Friday.

[Lunch]

Wait a minute- I thought vacation was when you were supposed to do the yard work, seal the driveway, clean the carpets, wash the Jeep, wash the wife's car...

[IEDmagnet]

Wait a minute- I thought vacation was when you were supposed to do the yard work, seal the driveway, clean the carpets, wash the Jeep, wash the wife's car...

No no....that's what happens when you take "days off".... which is exactly why I took that retirement money and dragged the family to the beach. I went from lazy non-shaving bum that is handed a honey-do-list to SUPERHERO Dad/Husband, who was the bringer of fun for a week.

Of course that went to shit today, the honey-do's started the second we walked in the front door.

[C-MAC]

Two peanuts were walking down the street- one was "assaulted".

Shame is, the one that was "a salted" got arrested. Salt has been outlawed by the Democrats here in NY.

[Zonk 1/75]

I gotta remember to not crack jokes at DOA scenes as not everybody shares my sense of humor…………

[RangerX]

I gotta remember to not crack jokes at DOA scenes as not everybody shares my sense of humor…………

OK. What have we said about this before?

That's right, we share.

[Ranger Ron]

I gotta remember to not crack jokes at DOA scenes as not everybody shares my sense of humor…………

LEO at the scene of an accident holds up the severed head by the hair and said to the decease's friend, "Is this your buddy"? the Friend says, "No is a lot taller than that"!

[IEDmagnet]

There was a suicide by hanging in our Jurisdiction not to long ago. The guy had found out that his wife was a bisexual, had a girlfriend, and was actively engaged in a same sex relationship. The wife had dropped the bomb on him, but included the fact that she loved him and wanted to remain in the relationship with both him and the female. (I saw pictures of wife and GF, I'd have jumped at the thought.) He couldn't take it, and decided to kill himself.

We were dispatched to the scene and the family was there when we arrived. Thought the area was roped off well enough with crime scene tape, that the tree in the back yard would be well out of their view. When I walked up to the area, I stood next to the body that had still not been cut down and another officer. Struck with a sudden funny thought I blurted out "Whatcha doin'? Just hangin' around?" It was loud, obnoxious, inappropriate, and funny as hell at the time.

Unfortunately the family disagreed, complained, and I got a four day unpaid vacation for it. So I agree, our sense of humor isn't something to share with most. (BUT IT IS FARKING AWESOME!!!)

[RangerX]

The guy had found out that his wife was a bisexual, had a girlfriend, and was actively engaged in a same sex relationship. The wife had dropped the bomb on him, but included the fact that she loved him and wanted to remain in the relationship with both him and the female. (I saw pictures of wife and GF, I'd have jumped at the thought.) He couldn't take it, and decided to kill himself.

Only in South Carolina.

[IEDmagnet]

The guy had found out that his wife was a bisexual, had a girlfriend, and was actively engaged in a same sex relationship. The wife had dropped the bomb on him, but included the fact that she loved him and wanted to remain in the relationship with both him and the female. (I saw pictures of wife and GF, I'd have jumped at the thought.) He couldn't take it, and decided to kill himself.

Only in South Carolina.

Had I not been on scene, and heard it for myself....I would have believed it was a plot from Jerry Springer.

[C-MAC]

A little boy was standing in front of a mirror in the restroom at John F. Kennedy Airport, when in walked a Marine staff sergeant, dressed in his dress blues. The little boy turned to the Marine and said, "Wow! Are you a Marine?"

The Marine replied, "Why, yes I am, young man. Would you like to wear my hat?"

"Boy, would I!," said the little boy. He took the hat and placed it on his head and turned to admire himself in the mirror.

As he was looking in the mirror, he heard the door open and through a ray of bright light, a man entered the room. But, this was not just a man -- he was more than a man. He was an Airborne Ranger.

The little boy turned and went over to the soldier. As he approached him, he could see the reflection in his boots. His eyes widened as he stared up at the soldier's chest full of medals and combat ribbons. He tried to speak, but he couldn't. Finally, he took a deep breath, and managed to say, "Excuse me, Sir. Are you an Airborne Ranger?"

The Ranger replied with a thunderous voice, "Why yes, I am!! Would you like to shine my boots?"

The little boy smiled, and said, "Oh, no sir!! I'm not a Marine. I'm just wearing his hat!"

[NeverSayDie]

Whats the difference between an insurgent and a trampoline?















































Not supposed to jump on a trampoline with your boots on.

[swagger]

I know someone on this site has one:


http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=390043184694&crlp=1_263602_263622&ff4=263602_263622&viewitem=&guid=6d0cb0ab12a0a0aad466a396fe4c5b7d&rvr_id=124223066402&ua=WXF%3F&itemid=390043184694

[RangerX]

I know someone on this site has one:


http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=390043184694&crlp=1_263602_263622&ff4=263602_263622&viewitem=&guid=6d0cb0ab12a0a0aad466a396fe4c5b7d&rvr_id=124223066402&ua=WXF%3F&itemid=390043184694

GG&G has one for about half that price, but it doesn't look nearly as good.....