Gross jokes

[Vee]

Lets hear 'em!

I'll start:

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pussy?



One makes it's own gravy!

[Kaley_B]

What does an old bike and a fat girl have in common?
Their fun to ride until your friends find out.



What is the differnce between a golf ball and a G-spot?
A guy will spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball.


What do you get when you cross a cabbagepatch doll whith the pillsbary dough boy?
A short ugly chick with a yeast infection.



Why is 77 better than 69?
Because you get eight (ate) more!!!!

[Steadfast]

Here is an old one of mine updated. Try eating after this one.

I used to go to town on my day off after mission's in Vietnam. The only prostitute was this old Vietnamese hag of 50 sumtin. She had cornered the market by us as the V.C. took all the good lookin wimen. I found out the French in the 1940's & 50's had also banged her. She was the only biatch around. One month the whole Division was out in the field and I was the first one back. I got over to May Lin's before anyone else. I was so fucken horny. I hopped in the sack and she came barefooted in her robe into the room. She got under the cover and I mounted her. My pecker dropped deep in her cavern and as I moved I felt something scratching my wingwang. I asked May Lin, "what the fuck in her was scratching my wingwang"? It was really starting to be abrasive. She got up and went to the bathroom and came out in 3 minutes. She got back under the covers and told me, "May Lin ready now"!. I got back in her and aaaaaaahh, It felt so dam good, no scrathing at all. I told May Lin, "now you feel great" and I asked her, "what did you do"? May Lin said, "I picked all the scabs and let the puss run"!

[Vee]

OK Stead......I think you win.

I don't want to hear any jokes more gross than that

Admin can we lock this thread....with my apologies

[DoorGunner]

Here is an old one of mine updated. Try eating after this one.

I used to go to town on my day off after mission's in Vietnam. The only prostitute was this old Vietnamese hag of 50 sumtin. She had cornered the market by us as the V.C. took all the good lookin wimen. I found out the French in the 1940's & 50's had also banged her. She was the only biatch around. One month the whole Division was out in the field and I was the first one back. I got over to May Lin's before anyone else. I was so fucken horny. I hopped in the sack and she came barefooted in her robe into the room. She got under the cover and I mounted her. My pecker dropped deep in her cavern and as I moved I felt something scratching my wingwang. I asked May Lin, "what the fuck in her was scratching my wingwang"? It was really starting to be abrasive. She got up and went to the bathroom and came out in 3 minutes. She got back under the covers and told me, "May Lin ready now"!. I got back in her and aaaaaaahh, It felt so dam good, no scrathing at all. I told May Lin, "now you feel great" and I asked her, "what did you do"? May Lin said, "I picked all the scabs and let the puss run"!

Shit you too?

[eltrane]

one more?

What's the difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky?


After 3 periods Gretzky takes a shower.

[Vee]

What do pubic hair and parsley have in common?

You have to push both to the side before you eat.

[DoorGunner]

Okay not to gross.
Horney guy goes into a house of Ill Repute. All he has is three bucks.. The madame tells him thats not enough but since that's all he has, go up to the third floor and see Mary.
He gets up there and knocks on the door. Hears a sweet voice telling him to come in. When he enters, the room is in darkness.
He wips off his cloths and hops into bed with Mary. After an hour and he doesn't get off, he turns on the light and sees that Mary is no less then 100 years old.
The guy exclaims, "Jesus Christ, your old enough to be my Great grandmother." Mary retorts, " listen here sonny, I may have winter in my hair but I've got summer in my heart." The guy screams, " ya better get some spring in your ass or we'll be here till next fall."

[Steadfast]

Okay not to gross.
Horney guy goes into a house of Ill Repute. All he has is three bucks.. The madame tells him thats not enough but since that's all he has, go up to the third floor and see Mary.
He gets up there and knocks on the door. Hears a sweet voice telling him to come in. When he enters, the room is in darkness.
He wips off his cloths and hops into bed with Mary. After an hour and he doesn't get off, he turns on the light and sees that Mary is no less then 100 years old.
The guy exclaims, "Jesus Christ, your old enough to be my Great grandmother." Mary retorts, " listen here sonny, I may have winter in my hair but I've got summer in my heart." The guy screams, " ya better get some spring in your ass or we'll be here till next fall."

Wot a lovely way DoorGunner to spend a year. Yer always got the great places to go! Have you tried packin her fudge DoorGunner? I bet she takes stool softener pills.

[Slowpoke]

Three young lads decided that the best way to lose there virginity was to go to a professional. After arriving, the most brave of the three went in. He came back out a few minutes later with a big smile on his face and told his buddies about it, "It was great, she put a pineapple ring on my dick and then ate it off." Well the next guy rushed in and came back with the same ear-to-ear grin. "She put TWO pineapple rings on my dick and then ate them off." The most shy of the friends went in, came back out in a few minutes and said, "Lets go home." His buddies were shocked that he seemed so down in the dumps, but he wouldn't tell them what had happened. All the way home they pestered him about his experiance until he finally broke down and told them, "She put three pinapple rings on my dick, whipped cream, nuts and a cherry. It looked so good I ate it myself....and if you tell anybody I'll kill you."

[Kaley_B]

Thats just wrong! You suck for even posting those!

[sobersides]

FoodBoy, Hopps, whatever your name is now - you better be doing 50 pushups for each one of those!

[certiorari]

It was funny until hopps posted.

*cringes* where the hell do you come up with that crazy stuff?

[Steadfast]

Wait til Foodboy see the horrors' of war, jokes won't be the same to him ever again. What we have here Hopps is a little boy with a small mind that only humors himself. Your jokes are not gross, they are in poor taste. And when you get done giving sobersides his request. You may have the fun and luxury of doing 50 PU's for each of them for me.

[Vee]

Hopps-

Fuck, you put yer foot in your mouth more than everybody I've ever encountered.

Don't mistake our lack of "good disposition" for a lack of compassion.

Go do some fuckin PT.