This is good

[Rangerguru]

A friend sent this to me.

This is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old

woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it

published in the New York Times.







Dear Sir:



I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I

endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three

nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and

the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it . I

refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire

pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only

eight years You are to be commended for seizing that brief window

of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of

penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank. My thankfulness

springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to

rethink my errant financial ways.



I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and

letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the

impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your

bank has become. From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with

a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will

therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at

your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an

employee at your bank whom you must nominate.



Be aware that it is an offence under the Postal Act for any other

person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an

Application Contact which I require your chosen employee to

complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I

know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is

no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical

history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory

details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and

liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.



In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a

PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret

that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled

it on the number of button presses required of me to access my

account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation

is the sincerest form of flattery.



Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me,

press buttons as follows:



IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH



#1. To make an appointment to see me



#2. To query a missing payment.



# 3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.



# 4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping



# 5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to

nature.



# 6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home



#7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my

computer is required. Password will be communicated to you at a

later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.



# 8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.



# 9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then

be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering

service.



# 10. This is a second reminder to press* f or English. While this

may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play

for the duration of the call regrettably, but again following your

example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting

up of this new arrangement. May I wish you a happy, if ever so

slightly less prosperous New Year?



Your Humble Client



(Remember: This was written by an 86 year old woman) 'YA JUST GOTTA

LOVE THE SENIORS' !!!!!

[RTO]

[Jenny Lynn]

What an inspiration, she must have been related to my late grammie.

[msg_dman]

Sorry bro, I wanted it to be legit, a man wrote it as a funny article, and it has made its way around the net being credited to an old lady:

http://www.snopes.com/business/bank/takethat.asp

[Lefty]

I was going to write that this letter was in circulation as a joke in my bank sometime in the early 90's.

[Jim]

My local ATM ate my check card last week, and I spent over 30 minutes on the phone waiting to get a replacement (that has not arrived yet). Yeah, I understand the frustration.