40 Things you can't say out loud at work

Darksaga · Post by **Darksaga** » January 16th, 2008, 1:58 am

40 Things You'd Love to Say Out Loud at Work

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to publicly humiliate yourself.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

7. I'm out of my mind at the moment, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here - I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I don't understand a damn word you're saying.

10. Ahhh. I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision - I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of karma to burn

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your cry-baby whiny ass opinion would be?

24. Do I look like a f'ing people person to you?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. Oh, I get it. Like humor. Only different.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without the door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume, but must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is finally done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to k!ll.

38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary

39. I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter.

40. Wait a minute - I'm just trying to imagine you with a personality

Chiron · Post by **Chiron** » January 16th, 2008, 3:10 am

Darksaga wrote:6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

We have on girl that could fit this. And most of the others too.

Gordo173 · Post by **Gordo173** » January 16th, 2008, 4:14 am

Sounds like the greatest hits from the Pastor at work.

Ardent Lady · Post by **Ardent Lady** » January 16th, 2008, 7:12 am

These are great! :D :D

Using them at home could be bad, too, Darksaga. Though, truth be told, I have thought a few of them at times...

Hoover · Post by **Hoover** » January 16th, 2008, 9:18 am

That's funnier than fuck Sir.......Well done.

elle · Post by **elle** » January 16th, 2008, 10:45 am

Darksaga wrote:40 Things You'd Love to Say Out Loud at Work

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

31. Oh, I get it. Like humor. Only different.

I have used these and frequently. Oddly enough much to my amusement, not so much to others. :D

SouthernBlonde · Post by **SouthernBlonde** » January 16th, 2008, 10:51 am

I think using many of these would alleviate my stress levels and create a much more harmonious work environment...well, for me, at least...maybe not so much for my idiot clients :?

Slowpoke · Post by **Slowpoke** » January 16th, 2008, 4:11 pm

Actually using most of them, and some others caused my early retirement.......and I'm loving every minute of it. :D

KW Driver · Post by **KW Driver** » January 17th, 2008, 12:18 am

somebody take the stick away from the CPT, he's had too many swings at the good idea pinata

Ranger Ron · Post by **Ranger Ron** » January 17th, 2008, 7:29 am

Tater Nuts wrote:Well, apparently "you inbred cocksucker" is number 41 at my workplace, who would have guessed that to be offensive ????

Bravo57 · Post by **Bravo57** » January 17th, 2008, 7:56 am

KW Driver wrote:somebody take the stick away from the CPT, he's had too many swings at the good idea pinata

That's Awesome!!!!

FIST TEAM LTR · Post by **FIST TEAM LTR** » January 18th, 2008, 5:43 am

Tater Nuts wrote:Well, apparently "you inbred cocksucker" is number 41 at my workplace, who would have guessed that to be offensive ????

An excellent way to start a conversation. Thanks, I'll try it right away Tater.

ArmyRanger.com

40 Things you can't say out loud at work

40 Things you can't say out loud at work

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