30 Little-Known Facts About Chuck Norris...

[42L5V]

Bump.

[Torleif]

* Every woman in the world bleeds once a month, that´s because they had a visit from Chuck Norris.

*Only Chuck Norris can roundhousekick someone in the back of the face.

*A company once did a "bobblehead Chuck Norris", The chairman of the company is now a "bobblehead" on Chuck Norris dashboard. The head also spinns when given a roundhouse kick.

*Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

*Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.


*Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

*Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

*Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never fucks up.

*Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.


*Chuck Norris doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the fuck out of the way.

*Chuck Norris is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Norris claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his penis.

*Upon hearing that his good friend, Lance Armstrong, lost his testicles to cancer, Chuck Norris donated one of his to Lance. With just one of Chuck's nuts, Lance was able to win the Tour De France seven times. By the way, Chuck still has two testicles; either he was able to produce a new one simply by flexing, or he had three to begin with. No one knows for sure.

[Baseplate]

Chuck norris and the rain gods are pussys

[Rangerguru]

Chuck Norris "Let the dogs out!!!"

[Ndog275]

Chuck Norris is a Canadian

[That Guy]

Chuck Norris JMPI's himself.

[Rangerguru]

Chuck Norris JMPI's himself.

Chuck Norris doesn't have to JMPI himself, he just grabs grass.

[ANGRYCivilian]

:D :D :D :D I dont think ive ever laughed so much!!! Fuckin Chuck Norris Is the shit!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D

Shut the fuck up.

:D :D :D :D :D :D That was seriously funnier that half the Chuck Norris shit.

[Eyes]

...........

[Breeze Sack]

bump . . . http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080310/peo ... _norris_dc

[Darksaga]

Websters is changing the definition of "genocide' to Chuck Norris takes a vacation in (insert region).

[Rangerguru]

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.