For the Ladies

Military Humor. Laugh at me. Laugh at you. Laugh at them.

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imarangersdad
Ranger Dad
Posts: 169
Joined: April 27th, 2005, 5:40 pm

For the Ladies

Post by imarangersdad »

Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A: Shoot him again.

Q: How can you tell if a man is well hung?
A: When you can barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: Because they are practicing to be men.

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three - one to screw in the bulb and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their mates after Mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your email?
A: Rename the folder "Instructions Manuals."
"Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?"
And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"
Isaiah 6:8
"Rangers Lead the Way"
Mom in Texas
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Posts: 2053
Joined: May 16th, 2004, 9:14 am

Post by Mom in Texas »

:lol: :lol: :lol:
There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. - Colin Powell
289sotherhalf
Supreme Goddess of Drive On/Moderator
Posts: 6921
Joined: April 6th, 2005, 12:39 pm

Re: For the Ladies

Post by 289sotherhalf »

imarangersdad wrote:Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A: Shoot him again.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
~Ranger Wife~

"Love your enemies...it pisses them off!"

"Be careful whose toes you step on today because they might be connected to the foot that kicks your ass tomorrow."

"Behind every damsel is a fire breathing dragon."
Cat
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Joined: July 6th, 2005, 9:03 pm

Re: For the Ladies

Post by Cat »

imarangersdad wrote:Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your email?
A: Rename the folder "Instructions Manuals."
Amen :lol:
U.S. Army Signal Corps, 31M7A/31S
385th SigCo (FWD) Kuwait Jan 94- Dec 94
235th(67th) TACSAT Ft Gordon, GA. 95-97
--
Mainz-Kastel, Germany 98-00, AD Dept
Ft Bragg 00-02, AD Dept
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Bugsy
Ranger
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Joined: May 25th, 2004, 3:24 pm

Post by Bugsy »

That's bullshit, I don't read instruction manuals, I WRITE instruction manuals :lol:
1984 - 1985 5th Inf Div
1985 - 1986 75th Inf Ranger Regt
1986 - 1988 3/12 SFG (ABN)

The strength of the pack is the Wolf... and the strength of the Wolf is the pack... :twisted:
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cams
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Joined: June 9th, 2005, 6:45 am

Post by cams »

Alright. Who's fucking side are you on here anyways?!
Apple polisher. :twisted:
2/75 HHC C/E 89-92
Rio Hato/AO Diaz CCT/Commo

"It is a heavy thing, to see a Father so strong in life, unable to rise."

"A great civilization is not conquered from without
until it has destroyed itself from within." -W. Durant
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Benning Wife
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Post by Benning Wife »

Too Funny.

:lol:
ANGRYCivilian
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Post by ANGRYCivilian »

traitor
St Barbara's Bastards
82C1P

"Parole officer says I gotta upgrade, or he won't give me back my stabbin' knife!"~Roberto
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imarangersdad
Ranger Dad
Posts: 169
Joined: April 27th, 2005, 5:40 pm

Post by imarangersdad »

ANGRYCivilian wrote:traitor
Maybe. But, if I'm gonna kiss ass, at least I know enough to kiss a woman's ass.
"Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?"
And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"
Isaiah 6:8
"Rangers Lead the Way"
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cams
Ranger/Moderator
Posts: 9644
Joined: June 9th, 2005, 6:45 am

Post by cams »

imarangersdad wrote:
ANGRYCivilian wrote:traitor
Maybe. But, if I'm gonna kiss ass, at least I know enough to kiss a woman's ass.
I'm watchin' you. :twisted: No John Kerry back and forth shit here... :wink:
2/75 HHC C/E 89-92
Rio Hato/AO Diaz CCT/Commo

"It is a heavy thing, to see a Father so strong in life, unable to rise."

"A great civilization is not conquered from without
until it has destroyed itself from within." -W. Durant
last.tango
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Joined: January 19th, 2006, 11:53 am

Post by last.tango »

:D :D :D
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