The Boy That Would Be My Son

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rangerjd
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Joined: August 20th, 2014, 11:50 am

The Boy That Would Be My Son

Post by rangerjd »

The Boy That Would Be My Son
When I first met Nick he was 7 and loved caterpillars, snakes and Ninja Turtles. He was amazed that I knew all of their names and what weapons they carried, he didn’t know at the time that I had 2 boys about his age. When I met Nick’s mom she was the single parent of a 7 year old and I was the divorced father of 4 children, 2 boys and 2 girls. Soon Nick went from being an only child at 7 to having 4 brothers and sisters when he was 8. The boys were inseparable, most of the time. Nick and Bandy were only 13 day apart and Casey was a year and a half older. Becky was three years older than Nick and Amie was 2 years younger. My wife and I had 2 more girls which now gave Nick, 2 brothers and 4 sisters. Nick had never been around the Army and now his whole life it seemed was Army, he ate it up. Although him and Bandy were the same age, Nick had been held back a year in school and so he was a year behind Bandy in school. Casey joined the Army in 2002 straight out of high school and a year later Bandy joined straight out of high school. Nick wanted to follow me and his brothers into the Army so when he graduated high school he also joined. Nick had asthma when he was younger, but had grown out of it. He didn’t want to tell the recruiters that he had had asthma so he left for basic in November. Ft Benning in the winter can get kind of nasty and with everyone sleeping in a confined area he developed a respiratory problem which caused him to have a severe asthma attack. At the same time that Casey was leaving for Iraq and Bandy was going through the Q course, Nick was being sent home. Although I told him how proud I was of him for attempting to join the Army, he felt like a failure. I got Nick a job as a laborer in the construction company that I work for and he did extremely well. Everybody liked him and he had a very good work ethic. A couple years later I trained him to be an operator. As the years progressed he began to drink more and more. My wife and I both had several talks with him about it, but he always said he didn’t have a problem. He left my company and went to work for another company. He ended up wrecking a company vehicle while under the influence and got fired. He move around between a couple of companies trying to find a good job, but we could tell he was sinking lower all the time. He finally got a good job with a really good company and things were looking up. Then one day he showed up for work drunk, was made to take a breathalyzer and ended up losing his job. That was August 20th 2015. During this time he had been dating a girl for almost 4 years and they had a 2 year old, little baby boy. She had left him several times in the past and she had just left him again. She said if he would quit drinking she would come back. On 24 August 2015 at around 0200 in the morning Nick took his life, he was 30 years old. I loved that boy like he was my own flesh and blood and I wished I could have seen this coming. As hard as it is for me, it is 100 times harder for my wife. I was blessed to have him in my life for 22 short years, and I was ever more blessed to have him call me dad. I love you Nick, I’ll see you when I get there.
If you have a friend or a loved one who seems to be having problem, don’t just brush it away like it’s nothing. Go see them. We hadn’t seen Nick since Easter, he always claimed to be too busy or too tired. In reality, he was too depressed. We had talked to him on the phone, but we didn’t go see him. I’d give anything to go see him right now.
Ranger Class 8-82
C Co 2/75 80-83-HCMTC 83-85
Drill Sgt 85-87-Sapper Instructor 87-89
A Co 2/75 89-90-G3 I Corps 90-91
I Corps LRSC 91-93-7th RTB RI 94-95
Retired 95
"I'd rather spend 10 seconds in the saddle, than a life time of watching from the stands." Chris Ledoux
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al_2ndWolfhounds
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Joined: November 3rd, 2009, 11:50 am

Re: The Boy That Would Be My Son

Post by al_2ndWolfhounds »

Remembering all of the good of his life and what he meant to all of you will keep you and your family going. Losing a loved one in any circumstance is unbelievably difficult to cope with, taking one's own life makes it all that much harder as you question what might you have done to prevent it from happening. You did what you could, you loved your son.
RLTW

Active service 01/67-12/73
Ranger Class 10-68
2/27 Inf 25th Inf Div Vietnam 01/69-01/70

"In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take." - Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)
“The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.” – Joseph Heller, Catch-22
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Steadfast
Rest In Peace Ranger
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Joined: December 19th, 2003, 10:09 am

Re: The Boy That Would Be My Son

Post by Steadfast »

Condolences on the loss of Nick to you & his (extended) family.
jd, Nick had his own answers to keep you at bay, simple (believable) words that we ourselves do in our everyday lives. Perhaps a visit was warranted but that is hindsight. Nick was a 30 year old man running his own life. He was happier but his own demons nagged at him maybe visiting a psychologist at 8,9,or10 may have helped (hindsight) him. You did your best, try not to drag you or any of your family members from going down Nicks road. Watch them all for any sign, get them to talk to you. Again, my condolences to all jd.
RLTW
Steadfast

4/325 82d DIV 68-69
2nd Bde HHC (LRRP), 4 ID
K Co (Rgr), 75th Inf (Abn), 4 ID
69-70
I cooked with C- 4
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rangerjd
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Joined: August 20th, 2014, 11:50 am

Re: The Boy That Would Be My Son

Post by rangerjd »

One of the stories that came out of this was that when Bandy returned home from his first deployment to Iraq, his wife had left him about 2 weeks prior to his return. He called me one day and asked me to come get all of his weapons out of his house, because he was very depressed. I found out at the funeral that it was Nick that talked with Bandy during that time and talked him out of harming himself.
Ranger Class 8-82
C Co 2/75 80-83-HCMTC 83-85
Drill Sgt 85-87-Sapper Instructor 87-89
A Co 2/75 89-90-G3 I Corps 90-91
I Corps LRSC 91-93-7th RTB RI 94-95
Retired 95
"I'd rather spend 10 seconds in the saddle, than a life time of watching from the stands." Chris Ledoux
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IEDmagnet
US Army Veteran
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Joined: June 7th, 2010, 4:48 am

Re: The Boy That Would Be My Son

Post by IEDmagnet »

Prayers sent for you and your family.


Sent from my iPhone using rocks and sticks.
A/3/505 PIR, 82nd 96-98
B/2/121 Inf, 48th BCT Iraq 05-06
B/1/118 Inf, 218th BCT Afghan 07

I'm not stupid, I'm crazy...there is a difference.
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al_2ndWolfhounds
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Joined: November 3rd, 2009, 11:50 am

Re: The Boy That Would Be My Son

Post by al_2ndWolfhounds »

rangerjd wrote:One of the stories that came out of this was that when Bandy returned home from his first deployment to Iraq, his wife had left him about 2 weeks prior to his return. He called me one day and asked me to come get all of his weapons out of his house, because he was very depressed. I found out at the funeral that it was Nick that talked with Bandy during that time and talked him out of harming himself.
Hang on to this good memory it may sustain you.
RLTW

Active service 01/67-12/73
Ranger Class 10-68
2/27 Inf 25th Inf Div Vietnam 01/69-01/70

"In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take." - Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)
“The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.” – Joseph Heller, Catch-22
BruteForce
US Army Veteran
Posts: 840
Joined: July 11th, 2006, 4:40 pm

Re: The Boy That Would Be My Son

Post by BruteForce »

Damned! Thanks for sharing the story. Prayers out..
US Army 1986 - 1994
InfoSec/InfraGard/NetGuard (1994 - Present)
Random world and Adventures of BruteForce
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